SPOILERS: Many minor from Season 1-4 up to and including �Shades of Gray�
RATING: NC-17
CONTENT WARNINGS: Graphic sexual content, sex, non-con sex, some language
SUMMARY: When Sam is brutally raped by a relative stranger, Jack helps her start to sort things out.
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: SJA, Heliopolis, and anyone else. You're welcome to it, just ask.
DISCLAIMER: No sorry. In my dreams, Stargate SG-1 and its characters would be mine, but they are totally the property of Showtime, double secret production, Gekko Productions, MGM/UA. (WAAAA) No infringement or copyright intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is the first thing I�ve written in a VERY LONG time, so please be kind. Special thanks go to my beta readers Rnee� and Judy, and those who got the sneak peek.
FEEDBACK: Yes please. I love writing and would like to know if I need to continue.
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Jack knew she was pissed at him. Sam, Major Samantha Carter, had every right to be pissed. Hell, he was pissed at himself. �No one gets left behind� How many times had he told his team that little gem? Hundreds? Thousands? Who knows? And one little asteroid burying a Stargate and a little Edoran hooch and he was in bed with a woman he hardly even knew.
He knew Carter was pissed at him for giving up. He had . . . and he knew it. He had given up on her and the whole SGC. He had �mourned� for one hundred days and then just when he�d decided to give up his life on Earth, Teal�c had been found buried just above the Stargate�s event horizon trying to dig his way to the surface. Sam had found a way to get Jack home, just as he should have expected.
Then, he had no sooner gotten home when Thor and his buddies had needed Jack�s help. He had been ordered, by the President himself to tell no one, not even the team he trusted with his life beyond all measure that he was going �rogue� to catch some traitors.
He knew Teal�c understood. Teal�c was a warrior. He understood what it meant to follow orders of superiors even if you didn�t like them. Jack also knew that Daniel forgave him. Daniel may not have understood why Jack had had to sever all ties with the team. But they�d talked about what happened and laughed at the stupidity of Jack�s superiors. Daniel had forgiven him for the awful things Jack had had to say to get rid of Daniel which he hadn�t wanted to say and had not meant.
With Carter, it was different and difficult. She�d taken it personally. She thought he couldn�t trust his Second in Command enough to tell her the truth, the rule be damned. He didn�t understand why her brilliant, military mind couldn�t accept that orders were orders, but he knew that for Sam, the black ops hadn�t been the major problem. Her problem had been his giving up on her, on the team. She�d
taken it personally that he hadn�t been able to put his faith in her to get him home.
He glanced at his clock over the fireplace. 0900. He had two hours before he was supposed to meet with Carter at her apartment. He knew it was going to be hell waiting. He spent the next 25 minutes puttering around the house to keep himself busy. His house was already spotless and he�d finished all the projects he�d put on his �to-do� list the night before.
�For cryin� out loud!� he yelled in the empty house, �This is ridiculous!�
Grabbing his keys, he headed out to his truck. Hanging around his house and bouncing off the walls would only serve to drive him nuts. Besides, Carter never slept in. Might as well get this over with as soon as possible.
Jack stood on the doorstep to Sam�s apartment building. He was over an hour early and now he was nervous. What if she was still sleeping? She was on down time; it would be logical to sleep in. What if she didn�t really want to talk to him? She had a habit of avoiding a subject she didn�t want to discuss, just like her CO. That�s what had gotten them into this mess in the first place. What if she had company? Jack stopped his �What if-ing� at that thought. Carter? A boyfriend? He knew it could happen. Hell, the woman was beautiful. He just had never taken the time to think about Carter with anyone, except�
The shot rang out over his head. His heart stopped at the eerie silence that followed. The day Charlie had shot himself flashed through his mind. Almost instinctively, he knew the shot had come from Carter�s apartment.
�God, NO,� he thought as he found himself flying first to his truck to retrieve his pistol and then up the steps two at a time. �Not her, too. Not this way. Dear God, not her.�
The mantra continued in his head until he reached her door. He stopped. Could he handle what he found in there? He knew he�d have to, but he silently prayed for some other explanation for the shot�something, anything other than her death.
His breath froze at the implication of his thoughts. He knew he cared about her, but what was this thought? He didn�t know and at the moment, he couldn�t care. He had to find out if Sam was okay first.
�Carter!� he yelled, �You okay?� He started pounding on the door, �Dammit, Carter, answer me! Open the damn door!�
When there was no response, he backed up and placed a well-aimed kick to the door latch. It flew open, banging on the wall behind it.
�Carter!� he yelled again, �I�m in your apartment! Let me know you�re okay!� When he got no response again, he started searching the small apartment.
�Carter? You okay?� he called out desperately, �Answer me, Carter, please!� but there was no answer forthcoming.
�Sam?� he finally asked quietly as he stepped into what was obviously her bedroom.
Immediately in front of him, about five feet from the bed and face down in what could only be a pool of oozing blood was a male figure. He bent down and felt for a pulse. Nothing. Dead. Not knowing or caring who he was, he looked for Sam. He saw her on the bed, curled into the fetal position. He stepped over the body of the dead man and rushed to her.