Into the light of love
We took the train to London and entered Diagon Alley through The Leaky Cauldron. It was a beautiful, sunny day and we sat on a small table outside Florean Fortescue�s Ice-Cream Parlour in the shadow of a large sunshade. I watched Harry closely. He looked fine. A bit pale and tired, but fine.
�How are you feeling, Harry?� I asked as Florean brought us our sundae�s. He shrugged his shoulders.
�I�m alright, really. I still miss Sirius of course, but I�m alright�. But his expression was sad.
�Did the Dursleys really treat you alright?�
He nodded. �They ignored me most of the time. But I didn�t mind. I was glad they left me ad peace�. He paused for a second, looking around him and then back to the table. �How�s Professor Dumbledore?� He glanced at me briefly before returning his gaze to the table.
I was glad he brought the subject up himself. �He�s worried about you, Harry�, I told him quietly, �he...� I paused, not sure of how I should phrase this, �he told me about... your conversation�.
�I said some pretty awful things�, Harry admitted. �But I was just so... so angry. My godfather had just died and he stood there, so calm and collected... like it didn�t matter to him. And it was my fault... If I had studied occlumency... If I had...�
Despite myself I smiled. �Harry, I�ve had this exact same conversation with Albus repeatedly over the past weeks and I am going to tell you exactly what I�ve told him, you are not to blame�.
�But if I had not gone to the Ministry, Sirius wouldn�t have died�, Harry said desperately, �It is my fault. Professor Dumbledore said it was his fault, but...�
�Listen to me�, I said sternly, �Sirius death was not your fault and it was not Albus fault. Sirius made his own decisions. If he had not go to the Ministry, he would not have died either...�
�So you�re saying that it�s all Sirius fault?� His eyes were blazing with anger.
I shook my head. �No, that�s not what I�m saying. Sirius death was no-one�s fault, but.... Voldemorts. We all make decisions. Albus decided to wait about telling you about the prophecy about you were fifteen. You decided to go after Sirius when he thought he was in danger. Sirius decided to go after you... Those decisions lead to certain consequences, but that does not mean that you, or Albus or Sirius himself, is guilty of his death.
�But if Professor Dumbledore had told me earlier about the prophecy I would have known it was a trap... I wouldn�t have gone to the Ministry�.
�Do you blame Professor Dumbledore?� I asked.
�No_ No, I don�t blame him. I just wished he had told me earlier about the prophecy. I don�t understand why he has waited so long�.
�When should he have told you about the prophecy?�
�I don�t know, last year perhaps...�
�Do you really think you could have taken it then?� I asked gently. �You had witnessed the return of Voldemort, you had fought against him, you had seen the Death Eaters... you had seen how Cedric was murdered... Do you really think you could have taken the truth about the prophecy?�
When he didn�t answer I continued.
�There is something you must understand Harry. He didn�t wait because he didn�t trust you, or because he thought you couldn�t take the truth. He waited because he cared for you and he wanted to spare you from the truth. Not because of the prophecy, or the war, or your scar, but because of you. After ten years of being treated miserably by the Dursleys, he wanted to give you some time to be carefree.
Or... as much as�, I added wearily and he grinned.
�If he had not done that you would not have been able to find friends, to be just yourself... you would have collapsed under the burden of that knowledge�.
Harry took a few deep breaths and I saw he was struggling with his emotions. Eventually he spoke. �I�ve said horrible things to him. I didn�t mean it...but I was so angry... and I didn�t understand...�
I nodded. �I know Harry. And I think you should speak to Albus again. Now the both of you have had time to think about it. How about we finish our sundae�s and go to Hogwarts?�
He hesitated for a moment and then he nodded. �Yes, let�s go to Hogwarts.
***
We used the Floo network to return to Hogwarts and arrived in my office. Together we walked to stony gargoyle. �It�s so quiet here�, Harry said, looking around him.
�The place is deprived of three thousand students. Of course it�s quiet�, I answered. We reached Albus office and the two of us got up. I could tell Harry was very nervous and I had to admit, so was I. I just hoped everything would work out alright. I knocked on the door and opened when I heard him call out.
He looked at me with surprise on his face, failing to notice Harry.
�Minerva, you�re back early. Did everything go as planned?�
�Not exactly as planned�, I answered. When his face turned into a worried expression, I added, �It went alright, but there was a slight change of plans�. I shoved Harry into the office. �Mr. Potter is here to talk to you�.
His jaw dropped. Almost literally. �Harry_� he managed to get out finally. �How...�
�The two of you need to talk�, I interrupted him. I stepped back, outside the office. �So talk_� And I closed the door behind me.
Slowly I walked back to my own rooms. I was very eager to get out of those Muggle clothes. I went into the bathroom and decided to take a very long, luxurious bath. I felt still a bit worried. Would they understand each other this time? Would they be able to sort it out?
I hoped I had made the right decision. If things got worse, the damage would be almost beyond repair. After almost an hour I got out of the bath and dried myself. I used a drying spell for my hair and turned into a light cotton dress, I wear under my robes. I walked into the study to get my shoes when I heard a knock on the door. �Come in_� I called out.
The door burst open and Albus marched in. He walked straight up to me and placed his hands on my waist. He lifted me up and swirled me around until I was dizzy.
�Put me down, you fool_� I shrieked, gripping his shoulders for support. He laughed out loud and placed me back on the ground. But the next moment he had wrapped me up in a fierce hug. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, returning his embrace and rested my head on his shoulder. Albus Dumbledore was back.
�You are amazing, Minerva�, he whispered, his arms tightening around me even more.
He chuckled and drew back a little to look in his eyes. Then I smiled. �What?� he asked confused.
�There back�, I said relieved. This only increased his confusion. �What is back?�
�The twinkles in your eyes. They were gone these past month and I�ve missed them�.
His eyes grew wide with surprise. I reached out to touch his face, but halfway I hesitated. I couldn�t� what would he think? Instead I placed my hand on his shoulder and looked down.
�So�I started, cringing when I heard that my voice was shaking. �How did the conversation go?�
His hand moved from my waist and cradled my face, forcing me to look at him again. �He understands now�, he answered softly. He didn�t before, but he does now�.
�And he still trusts and respects you?� I asked with a teasing undertone in my voice.
�I believe he does�, he answered. �Thank you, Minerva, for bringing him here. I needed to talk to him. More then I realised myself�.
�You�re welcome�, I whispered back, a little hoarse.
His fingertips brushed against my temple and I bit back a sigh. �Why?� he asked softly, �why did you do it?�
�You were hurt�, I answered truthfully. �I couldn�t bear to see it. I love you too much for that�.
The moment I had said it I wished I could disappear into thin air. I bit my lip and stared down, hoping the ground would open. How could I�ve been so stupid? How could I have blurted that out?
His hand was still on my face and I knew my cheeks were flaming red. Gently he lifted my head. His blue eyes were piercing into mine, reading my soul. �Minerva..� he began, but I cut him off.
�Can we forget I�ve said that, please? Just... just forget it�.
He brought his face only inches away from mine and I could feel his breath on my face. �Just answer me this�, he replied, then he leaned in and pressed his lips against mine.
I froze. I stood there, completely immobilised. Albus Dumbledore was kissing me and I couldn�t move if my life depended on it. His hand moved into my hair to support the back of my head and his other arm slipped around me, pulling me close against his body.
Slowly I began to relax and I responded tentatively to his kiss. His kiss grew more and more intense and when he deepened the kiss I gave in. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him with all the love I had in me.
I can honestly say that I�ve never been happier then that moment, there in his arms. After all those years of pretending not to love him, of burying my feelings all my dreams were coming true. And it felt even better than I could�ve ever thought.
Eventually we broke the kiss. He rested his forehead against mine and stroked my hair. �I guess that answers it then�, he mumbled.
�What was the question again?� I asked a happy smile spreading across my face.
�How long have you loved me?� he asked frowning.
My face was going to split in two if I wasn�t careful. �For decades�, I answered, stroking his face and burying my hands in his hair like I had always wanted to.
�That long?� he asked shocked. �Oh Minerva, I should have told you years ago�.
�Tell me what?� I whispered as his face came closer again.
�That I love you�, he answered, before capturing my mouth again.
Fin
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