Everybody hurts
Author's notes:
In
'Comfort' I mention briefly what happened when Alastor
was in hospital after he had lost his leg and eye. This story too is rather sad
and a tad angsty, but I'm planning on writing a
lighter AM/PP story after this.
{AM/PP}
He was unconscious and she was grateful
for it. There was so much blood and dirt. His body was rigid,
every muscle in it was cramped. Most of his leg was gone, dried blood plastered
the remainder of his trousers to the wound.
She bit back a cry of anguish as she
looked at his face. It was one open wound. Looking in the ash grey face of
Frank Longbottom she choked out, "How long…? How
much?"
"For hours…,
there were twenty of them… he never stood a chance…", the tall man
suddenly sobbed like a child. "He will be alright… won't he…?"
She couldn't answer, not daring to hope
for the yes, not able to bear the no.
A little blood was coming from his mouth
and she checked for injuries. There were small wounds at his lips and tongue
and she realised he must have bitten them to stop from screaming.
She felt her stomach turn when she
thought of the agony he must have suffered.
***
He stayed alive. Though he lost his leg
and his eye, though his face, hands and chest would be badly scarred for the
rest of his life, she did not lose him.
For a week he stayed semi consciousness,
his body slowly beginning to heal. She was there when he first opened his
eyes…eye, whispering soft, reassuring words to him. She was the one who changed
his bandages every day, trying to be as gentle as possible, she watched over
him at night when he was plagued by nightmares.
***
For the first time everything was more
or less clear again. The dark was gone and he could make out his surroundings
again. The world around him looked slightly muddled, as if he was looking from
a different perspective. It looked smaller…
His eye…, he
was missing an eye, that was why everything looked so different… and he had
lost his left leg… Poppy had told him so. Poppy…
A sharp, stabbing pain shot through the
calf of his left leg and his toes itched. Another pain, worse this time. It
felt as if his leg was on fire.
A wave of happiness washed over him. His
leg… he could feel it… it hurt. It must still be there then.
“Poppy..”, was
that growl really his voice? “Poppy…”. Quick steps
came closer, he could smell her before he saw her. Somehow
her scent remembered him of the beginning of autumn.
“Alastor… you’re
awake”, he couldn’t miss the happiness in her voice.
“Poppy…, my
leg, I can feel it… my left leg. It’s still there isn’t it?”
“Oh Alastor…”, her voice was barely above a whisper. “We couldn’t save
your leg… I’m so sorry…”
“But I can feel it!” he groaned. “How
can feel it when it’s gone?”
He hissed in pain as he felt another
twist. The pain was unbearable now. How could he feel pain in a limb he no
longer had?
With difficulty he tried to sit up,
ignoring the protests of his muscles. Her hands were on his shoulders
immediately. “Alastor, what are you doing?”
“I need to sit up…”,
he gasped.
She helped him get up, modifying the
bed, so he could lean back in the pillows, while sitting.
He could see now that his leg really was
missing, but the pain shot through it nevertheless.
“Merlin…”, he
groaned, clenching his fist. “How is this possible…?”
Her arm slipped around his shoulders and
she caught his hand. “It’s called phantom pain”, she told him softly. “It’s
because of the nerves in your upper leg. Your body doesn’t realise yet that a
part of it is missing”.
An invisible hand grabbed the foot he no
longer hand and twisted it around and around, until he writhed in pain. “Can’t
you give me anything?” he moaned.
She shook her head, tears running down
over her face, “Your body can’t take any more painkillers… I’m so sorry”.
He wrapped his arm around her waist and
held her close as pain consumed him. He tried to concentrate on her scent, the
feel of her warm body so close, on the soft hands that stroked his hair, her
arms around him, her soothing voice near his ear.
It seemed to go on for hours. Finally
the pain lessened. Completely exhausted he leaned back in the pillows and
watched as she lowered the bed again. “You need rest”, she said gently. “Sleep
now, it will get better.”
How could it? He wondered. How was this
ever going to be all right? Would he ever walk again? Would he be able to
become an Auror again? What was the point if he was
going to be a cripple for the rest of his life? What did it matter?
His answer came as she leaned down and
pressed a soft kiss on his cheek, on the only bit of undamaged skin.
He would heal. He would live.
For her.
Fin