Audience: *Claps*
Miroku: *Ahem* Hello everybody. You all know the rules. Three shadows will appear on the screen of our contestants. You, the audience, will all vote for which shadow looks the se- err, most appealing. *Realizes the audience is crawling with more women than men. Infact the only man in the audience is Inu-Yasha who appears to be pouting.*
Inu-Yasha: Are you gonna hurry up with this shit so we can search for more of the jewel!?
Miroku: -.-' Shippo, show our audience who contestant number one is and tell us a little about her!
Shippo: *Silouette of a long haired, fairly skinny figure appears with something on the shoulder.* Contestant Number 1 is a powerful demon, notorious for killing humans with no reason! This contestant enjoys hurting siblings and squishing servents!
Miroku: Looks hot, but the whole "Killing Humans" thing is a bit of a turn off. Number two?
Shippo: *Contestant 2 has a nice body, though cloths are slightly baggy, and appears to be holding a rose.* Contestant Number Two was also a powerful demon before becoming a teenage human, who was rumored to have screwed half the demon land! This contestant enjoys flicking around a rose whip and leading guys on to think this contestant's not what appears to be.
Miroku: That one sounds HOT, and a player too, wouldn't you agree, ladies?
Audience: *Crowd whistles and cheers, all save Inu-Yasha, sitting with a frumpled face.*
Miroku: So, how about contestant three?
Shippo: *The shadow of contestant three seems darker than the rest. In one hand, the contestant holds a rose, like contestant 2, but in the other is a mallet.* Contestant 3 is a martial arts master, and known as "The Black Rose". This contestant enjoys beating up the competition before a match, cheating to make them lose the competition, and fighting for and against people named Ranma Saotome!
Miroku: That explains why only three people showed up... Audience! Do your stuff! Who's the hottest girl up here?
Audience: *All press the buttons on their armchairs. Inu-Yasha sits their, his claws sneaking towards button 1.*
Miroku: Times up! Let's see who you picked! Roll the poll, Shippo!
Poll: Contestant 1, 250 votes. Contestant 2, 748 votes. Contestant 3, 2 votes.
Miroku: That's it! Contestant 2 wins! Let's see who our-
*Kodachi comes out from behind screen 3.* Damn it! I knew I should have killed all of you on my way here, I'm leaving! *Walks out angerily, refusing gift.*
*Contestant number 1 steps out. Inu-Yasha nearly faints.* SESSHOUMARU!?
Sesshoumaru: *Looks around.* This isn't the loveliest bishonen contest... Whoever set me up for this is dead... *Kills random fangirl on way out. About half the audience follows him.
Miroku: ...Well, now it's time to meet the winner! Miss Minamino?
*Kurama steps out.* This doesn't look like the dark tournament... Miss? I'm sorry but I-
Miroku: *Puts an arm around his shoulder.* Don't tell me you've been married before, Kurama-sama. Anyway, it doesn't matter, for you'll soon be Mrs.... Mrs... Mrs Miroku!
Kurama: *Strikes him down with rose whip and starts to walk away.* That was the easiest opponent I've ever faced! Now where's Hiei...
Miroku: *Mumbles to Shippo.* Never let Kodachi onto this show again... Hey! *Goes up to random audience member sitting next to a crying Inu-Yasha.* You are so much prettier than those contestants were. Will you bear my child?
Audience Member: Of course... NOT YOU PERV! *Miroku failed to notice the audience member was Sango in a different attire. Is beat on the head.*
Miroku: Turn in *OW* next time *OW* for some *OW* better contestants, if I survive this... *OW!*
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