[am][rn][fus] Action RanMan : an Action Man, Ranma Nibonoichi fussion Chi it Up! ---begin action--- “Little-Air to Big-Air. Are you receiving my feed?” Akane asked over the com link. Nabiki examined the console. The monitor showed the picture from Akane's head-mounted mini-cam. The picture showed an aerial view of Tokyo, approaching rapidly. “I'm receiving you loud and clear, Akane. Now give me a shot of Ranma. That's what the fans pay the big money for.” The grinding of Akane's teeth was heard over the link, but she obligingly turned her head to show Ranma. He was sky surfing without a paracute; plummeting towards the rapidly approaching stadium. It also looked like he was taking a nap. “Ranma, you jerk!” Akane swore. “Stop goofing off!” “Awe, give me another five minutes, Akane,” Ranma moaned. “RANMA!” Akane yelled. “You're aproaching the ground at terminal velocity.” “Oh, alright. Kasumi, are you ready for pickup?” Kasumi, ordinarily a demure and sedate Japonese housewife type, seemed a completely different person behind the controls of Team eXtreme's Big-Air. “Wicked man!” she exclaimed. “Pickup in five!” She cut back on the throttle. “Four!” Big-Air stalled. “Three!” Big-Air plummeted in a spiral. “Two.” She pulled back on the flaps. “One.” Big-Air's engines cut back in. “Pickup.” Ranma's grappling line hooked onto the rear of the plane. “Woo hoo! We have contact!” “Okay, Ranma,” Nabiki confirmed. “We're coasting into the stadium now. You're cleared to drop anytime.” “See ya on the ground!” Ranma said and released his line. --- “Welcome to the Kuno Dome! I'm your host, Tatewaki Kuno, welcoming you to the latest eXtreme Action Games. As you can see on the Big Screen, that Foul S... er, the world famous Action RanMan himself, Saotome Ranma, will be dropping in momentarily. We've prepared a special welcome for him, a twenty one gun salute. Anti-aircraft smart-missile launchers that is.” --- “That's tweaked,” Kasumi commented. “Tell me again, why are we working for him?” “Because he pays big money for us to put Ranma through eXtremely dangerous stunts,” Nabiki replied with a shrug. --- “Check it out. Dial it in. Chi it up!” Ranma intoned the mantra as the big guns fired. “Dual fierce tiger rockets surpressive anti-baulistic missile fire!” His wrist come beeped. “I hate to interupt, Ranma, but the Chi-equations say that Doctor-Echi is about to make another move.” “Awe, why do you always pick the worst time to call, Mom?” Ranma complained. “I'm in a life or death situation here.” “You're always in a life or death situation, Son,” Nodoka complained. “Why can't you make time for your Mother?” --- “Hey! They're not supposed to fire on me!” Akane complained over the com link. “Akane, keep the camera on Ranma while he's knocking missiles out of the air!” Nabiki complained back. “Is my whole family insane?” Kasumi asked. “Woo, that was close! Yeehaw! Wicked man!” --- “Grrr,” Tatewaki cursed. “Once again that ... RanMan has survived the gauntlet unscathed to begin another round of eXtreme Action Sports. Damnit. I mean, I can't think of what he'll do next to top this.” --- Ranma smiled and bowed for the crowd after dropping onto, and surfing through, the slide tunnels. Out of the corner of his mouth he asked, “okay, Mom, what's the old freak up to this time?” “The Chi Equations point to something involving a chain of stores called ‘Sweet Sensations’.” “There's no chance that's a chain of confectionairies, is there?” Ranma sighed. “Actually, Ranma, they do produce a fine line of eatible candy panties,” his mother smiled back from the dial of his wristcom. “The Chi Equations predict that Doctor-Echi plans to use them to spread his NanoPantyBugs.” --- “Oh my! That's tweaked,” Kasumi observed. “If the old freak's plan works,” Nabiki began, paused, then continued, “actually, I can't see how he plans to turn the world into his idea of neon-humanity with this crazy scheme.” “When has that ever stopped him?” Akane asked. “Remember his favorite saying is that ‘only the most perverted and sexy will survive the transformation’,” Ranma pointed out. “He's targeting that demographic to create an army of perverts and bimbo sex slaves. Once the NPB's in the candy panties infect the people who wear and eat them, he'll have hundred of copies of himself and Shampoo ....” “... humping away like rabbits,” Nabiki observed. “They'll be too busy doing the horizontal dance to want to help him. I doubt they'll even notice the change. I say we leave it up to Uknight, the anti-pervert organisation.” “Right,” Akane snorted, as Uknight meant Agent U., “like that bimbo in a suit can handle a pervert like Doctor-Echi. She couldn't even handle Ranma.” --- ---action incomplete---