Year2003 January February March April

worried?

posted by frustrated/worried Juan on Thurs Jan 30 2003@ 2215

he didnt pick up my calls. what happened? all were well. what happened???? can't he just call me back. i am feeling so down and irritated now.

i am totally out of my mind now. i can't settle down my feelings. why am i feeling so uptight? why am i so afraid to lose him? no, or am  i too afraid to be in the dark again? am i hurting u again?

headache

posted by tired Juan on Friday Jan 24 2003@ 1155PM

headache is bringing me down now. no mood to do my assignments and readings.

read this somewhere, wanna share with you guys..

Regret -
~When you know you could have done better.
~When you know what to reply - only when its too late.
~When you know you should have done something because it actually meant something to someone, even though it meant nothing to you.
~When you hurt someone with your words, only to realise that they were the last words you'll ever say to him because he's dead.
~When you put off donating to the less fortunate to buy things you don't need.
~When you don't treasure those you love until they are gone.
~When you forget to thank the person who helped you in the smallest way.
~When you have to sacrifice one of the two things you love most, and realise too late that you sacrificed the wrong one.

hectic week!

posted by tired Juan on Tuesday Jan 21 2003 @1135PM

::datelines::1 BP assignment on Wednesday::1 TWC 1,500 words report on Thursday::Finance assignment on Thursday::

my friend bidded a LOMO camera for me! yeah! i have decided to invest in one LOMO camera first. like what danon said: "BACK TO BASICS". think photography in the first place, is not abt skills. it's the passion to capture beautiful moments, beautiful people, beautiful angles, beautiful smiles...yah..then why didnt i get a digital camera? well, i want to. i will. but not now. too much financial burden. i am willing to spend >500 for one good digital with high zoom and high pixels. that's the issue: i dont want to part with so much money at this point of time.

surrounded by capable people. makes one feel quite incapable. but again, i can get to learn. learn about the world. lsnt it good? it's worse if i stay at put. 

SMU just had her third birthday yesterday(20jan)!! :) cool ah, SMUSAIC set up a booth to present the world with our digital skills, photography skills. Well, i am not confident enough to edit the pictures. wat is exactly holding me back? i do play with adobe. i do know what are the basic functions. BUT why cant i be daring enough to just volunteer? why? is it fear of failure juanz? or is it you are scared that someone else will boo you for your work? or is it that i know there is someone better? so many fears. only one ending. YOU DIDNT EVEN MANAGED TO HELP IN EDITING.

and instead, u made such a stupid mistake when taking  photographs of a german scholar with the President! what the shit? you caused SMUSAIC to have bad reputation. YOUR FAULT: U SHOULD HAVE LEARNT MORE ABT DIGITAL CAMERAS. see......even when u try, u fail!!!!argh. is it the rewards of trying? why is it tat when i try, i fail. and when i dun try, i regret. it's pain to fall. it's also pain to regret. OUCH!

p/s: Elim from 77TH street approached me on Patron's day and was interested in the shadow's picture! and asked me if i am willing to help out in her publication. cool ah..i am so proud of myself!

is this what i want?

posted by thinking Juan on Sunday Jan 19 2003 @0145AM

suddenly felt lost in life again.

what do i want? what have i always want? what should i want? all these qns seem to have been blurred. overlapping each other and making me confused, again.

i hope to experiment things. yet, i want to be practical. a lomo camera. or to save up for a better camera with more functions. or to save up even more to get a good Digital camera. i wanna shoot wherever i go. to capture beautiful object, people and moments. if i get a lomo, i still need to consider the developing fees. if i go for digital, i still have to wait for a while b4 getting one because i will go for one with specifications for me.

minutes and seconds are escaping me every moment. what will i miss out if i do not do the things that i want now? will i miss the chance forever? will i miss the beautiful moments forever? 

money and dreams. how? if u have a dream and you dun hav money, what should u do? if you have money and dun have a dream, what will you be?

Ice Creamy!

posted by Greedy Juan on Friday Jan 16 2003 @ 2355

had Rocky Road Ice cream!! :P dear and my favourite ice cream. chocolate ice cream with peanuts, mashmallows and chocolate chips.

using my new logitech optical mouse! finally. a new mouse to conquer the world.

had a wonderful time with my AJ khakis on Wednesday! Celebrated our dearest Xiao Cai's 21st Birthday. haha, had a terrible time trying to get her presents. apparently her NIE friends spoilt the market. Presented her with a diamond pendant first! so, we decided to get her some other neccessities! bags, bags and lamp and earrings and a photo frame! SO MUCH! :)

ps: pls visit jodan and iris's sites for more pictures of that day!

Hooked on Neopets

posted by ashamed Juan on Sunday Jan 12 2003@ 0330

hey hey, why am i still online?

it's the neopet craze. i am back again. argh. forsaking my readings for next week. forsaking my beauty sleep. i think i am crazy.

went fishing on Friday night with dear at seletar reservoir in the night. Used a rubber lure. like what my dear said, when u throw in your bait/lure, it's the hope that a fish will bite it that keeps anglers going on. The hope of fighting with the fish that keeps people like him hooked.(paradox: who is being hooked? the fish or the angler??)

xingrou's 21st bday is comign soon. having a celebration on 15/01. Hopefully she will have a great time!

oh, did i say that i have a SUPER TOUGH term this time? Pray for me all of you..

Charged up for a new Semester

posted by enthusiastic Juan on Tuesday Jan 06 2003@ 0045AM

Had my first lesson today at 1015AM. Tech and world change. i like tis module it is interesting. how the society is so interconnected by science and technology. Just finished doing some readings for tomorrow's Ethics class. Duncan is a tough one i heard. Demanding bt good. tat's y i took up the challenge to go to his class. i rather come out of a class with knowledge and skills than a good grade. *but best if both can be combined!.

Wooohooo, here i come to equip myself with more knowledge and the skills to reason!

Prawny Business

posted by anticpating Juan on Monday Jan 05 2003@ 01:10AM

Went for a prawn fishing session at Pasir Ris Pond this evening (sunday jan 05) with Dear and Helen and Steward. Paid $39 for 4 hours. Geez. the prawns there seem to be educated. they dun eat your baits with big bites, but just play around ard the baits. in the end, we had a very small catch - about 6-7. What to do with the prawns??

having my first lesson for this semester in 9 hours time. Geez. Will i be able to concentrate? it has been ages since i fell asleep at 12plus. a regular habit of falling asleep at about 6am and waking up at 2pm. **OKIE, i am a pig.

What will Prof Oscar be like?  =X

 NEW BEGINNING
posted by excited Juan on Sunday Jan 05 2003 @ 02:05AM

Hey guys! This is my first attempt in creating a place online to vent my anger, to laugh off my sillyness, to cry my saddness, to learn from my failures in life. Life is full of surprises. Each day is a brand new day to laugh and smile and to be a blessing in someone else life.

Had such a great time at MilkBar on 03 JAN *Friday! i felt so proud to have such girls who are so strong, yet, who are touched by the power of friendship. A Happy birthday to all January Babies of the night!

 ::Wan Jun::::Even::::Lin Ting::::Cheryl::::Jamie::

 words are cheap. but actions last forever.

agreed with ying, i am also quite surprised at how well the guys managed to entertain themselves! Emm, so my dear isnt that anti-social as he claims.

2003 - Welcome you! The many more roads to travel. The many obstacles to overcome. The abundance of joy to be experienced. most of all, the more closer i am towards my destiny.

**jodan is reaching singapore today! Woah, after having so much fun in Japan...wonder what has snow done to her? maybe shrink her? :X