Home of Greg Sanders Slash Fiction
Title: Past Life
Author: Tayla
Fandom: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Pairing: Gil/Greg, other pairing
Rating: NC17
Category: Drama
Status: WIP
Archive: Not Yet
Feedback: Yes, please. All constructive criticism will be graciously accepted
Email: [email protected]
Authors Web Site: http://www.geocities.com/tayla36/index.html
Series/Sequel:
Disclaimers: CSI and its characters belong to Anthony Zuiker and CBS broadcasting company. The author makes no profit and no infringement is intended.
Authors Notes: This plot bunny bit me and wouldn't let go
Summary: Grissom and company work on a difficult serial killer case that brings Gil past back to haunt him.
Warnings: Violence and angst. Some mild homophobia. Oh yeah, and M/M sex.
Prologue
Gil was awakened from his doze by a gasping voice in his ear.
"Gil? Hey c'mon Gil. I love you and all but you're kind of heavy."
Without opening his eyes, Gil rolled over, but he kept one arm locked around his lover's waist so that the younger man wound up sprawled on top of him.
"Better?"
"Mm yes." Greg replied as he snuggled his head onto Gil's chest.
Gil's hands wandered, tracing light patterns on Greg's back. It was quite restful for Gil. Just lying there, sleepy and sated basking in the afterglow. It sounded so clich� but that's what it was like exactly. The mid-morning sun was streaming through the bedroom windows and he felt warm, inside and out. Not so much because of the sun, but because of the young man he held in his arms. He started to drift off to sleep.
He should have known better. Greg was a talker. He talked a lot. Before sex, during sex, after sex. In fact the only time he didn't talk was when he had something better to do with his mouth. But even then he was still making noises.
So it came as no surprise to Gil when Greg started speaking, unwilling to just be still and let him sleep.
"You know, you surprise me." The young man said.
"How? With my extraordinary lovemaking skills?"
Greg grinned. "No, that's not surprising. After all, you have me inspiring you. No I meant this cuddly, affectionate side of you."
"Well I hope you pleasantly surprised." Gil responded.
"Oh yes. Absolutely. I just didn't expect it. You're usually so . . ." Greg trailed off, unable to come up with the correct word.
"Cold? Indifferent?" Gil supplied.
"No, not cold. Just . . . self-contained."
"Well I try to keep my personal stuff out of my professional life."
"Oh yeah, and that worked out so well. Considering that you're sleeping with a coworker." They both chuckled at that.
Gil's hands continued to roam over the smooth skin on Greg's back. And Greg's hands started wandering too. His fingers traced the ugly scar across his lover's abdomen and Gil shivered. There was another scar, high on the left side of his torso that looked more like an incision than a wound. And in just the right light, Greg could see the fine tracery of lines on the left side of his face. If you knew what you were looking for, you could tell his face had been reconstructed.
"You keep some of your personal stuff out of your personal life too."
Gil sighed. "Greg . . . I don't want to go there."
Greg found the scar on Gil's belly again. "This almost killed you, didn't it?"
"Greg, please."
"Gil, I've told you stuff about my past."
"Your past isn't as ugly as mine. Not by a long shot."
"But I want to know." Greg was very intense. "I want to know all about you. I want you to know all about me. I love you, Gil. People in love share things."
Gil's stomach twisted. He did love Greg, but his experience told him not to trust it. Not that he didn't trust Greg. He didn�t trust love. He didn't trust that love was strong enough to overcome all the misfortunes that life could hand out.
Greg was looking at him now, his heart in his eyes. No doubt waiting for Gil to return his declaration. "Greg . . . I do love you."
"But not enough to share your past." Greg said, disappointment evident in his tone.
" 'Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.' "
"Damn it Gil, don't throw quotes at me."
"My past is ugly and painful. I don't want to relive it. And I don't want it to touch you or what we have."
"What about the future?" Greg could read the answer in Gil's eyes. And he got angry. "Gil, what the hell are we doing here if we're not building a future? You know I thought we had something here. I didn't know I was just your boy-toy."
"You're not. We do have something. We have the present."
Greg started to tear up. "Then we have no future?"
"I didn't say that. Life is hard, Greg. People make promises about the future. And then something happens that makes them unable to keep them. I'd just rather not make those promises in the first place."
Greg wasn't really satisfied with that answer, but he realized that it was the only answer he was going to get. Gil could see the disappointment in Greg's eyes. He stroked the younger man's cheek and pulled him closer, kissing his lips, his ear, his neck. He turned them so they lay on their sides, facing each other. He kissed Greg again, this time coaxing his lips open, plundering the sweet mouth, his hands doing they're best to arouse the young man's body. He pulled back and looked into his lover's flushed face.
"I do love you, Greg. And for now, you have my undivided attention.
TBC