Home of Greg Sanders Slash Fiction
Part Three
Wednesday, 9AM Cascade Conference Center
(Blair's POV)
Second day of the seminar. I hope Grissom is as interesting today as he was yesterday, because I am so, so tired! Jim and I had a great night last night, at least physically. Emotionally, well, I'm not sure. He's not talking much since I dropped that big bomb on him about being turned on by thoughts of him and Gil.
After our little tryst in the kitchen, we had dinner and then relaxed in front of the TV. He was touching me all night. Playing with my hair, and rubbing my neck, massaging my feet. We went to bed early and made love for hours, long slow and passionately. And almost silently. Every time I tried to speak he would shut me up by kissing me or finding something else for me to do with my mouth.
That�s my Jim. Poster boy for emotionally repressed people. You know I'm starting to get really sick of his fear-based reactions. He should know by now that I'll eventually get him to talk. I don't know why he wastes both our time with these little games.
He's sitting next to me, ramrod straight in his seat, like he's still in the army. Nothing of the relaxed happy man that was sitting here yesterday is evident today. Ah well, we'll eventually work it out. Maybe this weekend, when we go camping. I'll get him out there in the woods, just the two of us, and I'll pester him until he tells me what's going on in that thick skull of his.
I turn my attention to the podium. Something about Gil today that's caught my eye and I try to figure it out, and then it hits me and I giggle.
"What's funny?" My Sentinel whispers to me.
"Gil's wearing a turtleneck." I whisper back to him. His brow furrows for a moment as he tries to grasp the significance of that. So I help. "That's an indication that we're not the only ones that had a good night last night." He grins as he gets the point, but then he goes back to his impassive staring.
Oh yes, we definitely need to talk. Soon.
(Greg's POV)
He's fallen into the rhythm of his lecture. He really doesn't even have to think about these seminars anymore. He just recites them from memory. He hasn't been talking much since last night. I had managed to coax him out of the bathroom with room service cheeseburgers. I tried to get him to tell me what he was feeling, but he just refused to talk.
He's not angry. I know his angry silences. He's confused and worried. We did go to bed together and we did make love, again. He took the lead, ravishing every inch of me. I realize now that it was desperation driving him last night. Like he was trying to prove to me that he was the best lover I would ever have.
But I already knew that.
I hadn't intended for this to get so blown out of proportion. I thought that we could have a little fun with fantasy. I thought we could discuss the possibilities of swapping or swinging. I didn't think that he would feel threatened by that. I didn't mean to make him doubt our relationship.
We seriously need to talk about this. We have the whole weekend off. Maybe I'll get him to take a little side trip somewhere before we go back to Vegas. Some where the two of us can be alone together. I'll get him to talk about it then.
(Jim's POV)
He thinks I'm mad at him. He thinks I'm jealous. I'm not. I'm just not sure what to do with what I'm feeling.
I thought we had straightened everything out last night when we got home from work. He fucked me into submission and that seemed to kill the last of his jealousy. Life could now proceed as normal.
But I should know better than that. Nothing's ever normal with Blair.
He told me that he was turned on by thoughts of Gil and me together. Turned on by it! What am I supposed to do about that? What does he want to do about that? Maybe I should be asking him these questions, but I'm afraid of the answers.
I know I'm not the first man he's been with. I'm the second. I wonder about that sometimes. Wonder if he's sorry he didn't do more shopping around before he settled down with me. He did plenty of experimenting with women, but only one other man.
About a year ago, before Blair and I got together, we were working a poaching case with two Federal agents from the Bureau of Fish and Game, and one of them happened to be an old 'friend' of mine from when I was in the military. After the case was wrapped up, Bobby and I renewed our friendship. Blair walked in on us in a compromising position. That was the first indication Blair had that I wasn't entirely straight.
It's not that I was trying to hide it. Or if I was, I was trying to hide it from myself as well. I hadn't been with a man in years, not since Gil in fact. I thought I had put that part of my life aside when I married Carolyn. But of course the marriage failed. And then Blair walked into my life. I fought my attraction for him for so long, because my personal relationships never worked out and I needed him as a friend. But just being around him so much brought up all those old feelings. About how good it felt to be with a man. So when I ran into Bobby, and he was willing, I indulged myself.
So of course, Blair came back to the loft unexpectedly and heard us. Then he went off and slept with Bobby's partner. Just to see if he'd like it. I guess he did, because shortly after that, he moved himself up to my bedroom and stayed. Since then it's just been the two of us.
Now I'm a vanilla kind of guy, at least in practice. I have a couple of fantasies, but I haven�t told them yet. Blair however is really wild, always wanting to try something new, and I let him. It makes him happy. We watch videos sometimes. I noticed that he gets extra turned on by the threesome scenes, whether it's three men or two men and a woman. I wonder if he'd want to try that, us getting together with a third person. I'm not sure I'd want to share him, but if it's something that we do together I could probably handle it. If it would make him happy.
Oh, now I'm just deluding myself. The thought of seeing Blair with another person totally turns me on. As soon as he said that last night about me and Gil, my little mind started picturing him with other people. I've done that sort of thing before. I had dreams about him and Bobby's partner, and what they might have done together. And occasionally, over the past year, I've had fantasies about us inviting Rafe into our bed, or maybe Simon. I haven't said anything because Blair would probably want to try it, and I think it would be extremely messy to get involved with someone at work.
But last night I had visions of Blair and Sanders, or maybe Blair and Gil, so I could have Sanders. Man, I wish my brain would just give it a rest. I'm not going to get anything out of this seminar if I keep having these damn sex fantasies.
And I really, really wish I had worn looser pants.
(Gil's POV)
The last thing I want to do today is teach a seminar. It's a good thing I have it memorized, because I'm not concentrating on what I'm saying at all.
Greg asked me last night if I had ever pictured him with another man, and I said no. But I was lying.
He's told me some of his fantasies and we've ever acted some of them out. Mostly role playing kind of stuff. We've also had some fun with food nights. Those are messy, but fun. But those are his fantasies. I haven't told him mine, but somehow he knew. When he asked me last night, my reaction must have given me away. He guessed that I had imagined him with another man and he's right. I've imagined us with Warrick, but I haven't told Greg about it. For one I didn't want him to think I was dissatisfied with him, and two because I was afraid that he would want to act on it. I could get in a lot of trouble for having a sexual relationship with a subordinate, but I take that chance with Greg because I love him. I certainly don't want to get involved, however superficially, with another employee. So I leave my fantasies in my head where they belong.
But we don't work with Jim and Blair. He asked me that last night and I started imagining the four of us together. I have never experienced anything like that in my life. I've had enough trouble having relationships with one person at a time. But with Greg, I think I could try this, and enjoy it. I remember what an amazing lover Jim is and I imagine what he and Greg would look like together. Or I imagine Greg and Blair together, with Jim and I watching.
Okay, I've lost all track of the seminar now. I am really glad I'm standing behind a podium because with all of these fantasies floating through my head, I am sporting some major wood. So I give the class a fifteen-minute break while I try to get myself under control again.
Jim and Blair make their way up to the stage to chat while the rest of the class mills around. Blair wanders over to talk to Greg and look at the visuals that he has set up, while Jim comes over to talk to me.
"Morning."
"Hey Jim." I incline my head in Blair's direction. "Did you two get everything straightened out last night?" The biggest grin breaks out over his face. "I'm going to take that as a yes."
His grin gets even bigger. "You look like you had a pretty good night, too." At my puzzled expression he plucks at the front of my shirt. "Wearing a turtle neck in May is a little obvious, don't you think?" He hooks a finger under the neck of the shirt and pulls it down a bit exposing the love bite. "Whoa, not as obvious as that, though. Is Sanders part vampire?"
I smack his hand away in annoyance and glance over to where Greg and Blair are talking. "Knock it off, Ellison. Are you trying to make them jealous again?"
"Maybe. Jealousy can be a powerful aphrodisiac." But he backs off a bit, putting some space between us and I steer the conversation to less personal matters.
"Are you and Blair enjoying the seminar?"
"I'm sure Blair is. With his academic background, he takes every opportunity he can to sit in an auditorium and take notes."
I frown at him. "I take it you're not enjoying yourself?"
"No offense Gil, but I can't wait 'til it's over. I get a little stir crazy sitting in a room all day."
"Well just one more day and you can get back on the street."
He smiles again. "Blair and I have the weekend off. We don't have to be back until Tuesday."
"We have off until Tuesday also." Oh no. My brain is ranging into dangerous territory. "Do you and Blair have any plans for the weekend?" I ask, trying to sound innocent. Finding out that he and Blair have the weekend off also has just restarted all those fantasies in my head. About what the four of us could do with all that time off.
"Yeah, we're going fishing up in the mountains." He gets a speculative look on his face. "Do you and Greg want to join us?" It might be my imagination, but he seems to have that same flirting tone he had yesterday at lunch.
I don't want to seem too eager. I also want to make sure he's not asking just to be polite. "We wouldn't want to intrude. And we're not exactly equipped for camping out."
"We're using my brother's cabin. And I have plenty of fishing gear you can borrow."
I make a decision then. "Sure Jim, we'll come with you. Sounds like fun." He grins at me then, and I know his offer was sincere. And just maybe there's more to his offer than it appears. Maybe he's having the same sort of fantasies that I am. Maybe I'll find out this weekend just how far my Greg is willing to go in acting out fantasies.