Home of Greg Sanders Slash Fiction
by Buffyangel68
-----------------------------------------------
FOLLOWING MORNING: JIM AND BLAIR'S HOTEL
"Chief! Breakfast!" Jim yelled for the third time in half an hour. He'd tried hard to keep Blair's food warm, but his efforts were quickly failing and the younger man had yet to even poke his head out of the bathroom. When he did finally emerge a few minutes later, he was dressed and his hair was minus any tangles. The sight and it's implications caused Jim's heart to drop several feet.
Blair had mastered many skills during his short life, so many that it sometimes amazed Jim to contemplate the list, but combing his own hair was not one of them. Whenever possible, Blair let Jim care for his mass of curls and the fact that he had chosen to do the job himself, knowing it would be painful, let Jim know just how angry his lover still was. "Blair... baby."
"I'm fine. Let's just eat, okay?"
"You're not fine, you're pissed at me and we need to talk about it. We both know that keeping our mouths shut and pretending problems don't exist only makes things worse."
"I'm not going to get into this, now, Jim. I'll say something hurtful and thoughtless... and then we'll *both* be mad, so just quit pushing." Blair shot back, digging into his lukewarm meal.
"Blair, please... You know I'd never deliberately do anything to make you feel this way. What I said... I'm really sorry for."
"But you can't look me in the face and honestly tell me you didn't mean every word."
Jim hesitated, but he eventually told the truth.
"I did, but that doesn't mean I should've run my mouth like that. I was frustrated and tired... everything I was thinking and feeling just... fell out."
Blair carefully laid down his fork and responded without looking up.
"Naomi loves me. She loves me more than anything."
"I never said she didn't."
"Yes, you did."
"No, I said she doesn't understand that love for herself and loving her child are two completely different things. Loving a child means doing what's best for them, not dragging them halfway around the planet, just to leave them with strangers for weeks and months at a time. Loving your child means not having one at all if you know you can't handle being stable and responsible."
Now Blair's head came up and his eyes locked onto Jim's, but fury and hurt blazed in his dark blue orbs. When he spoke, Jim was shocked at the darkness in his voice.
"So you're saying I should have been aborted? That I never should've been born?"
"God, Chief, no! Why would I... I love you! You're the other half of me, for God's sake! I wouldn't be alive right now if you weren't here!" Jim cried out, reaching for Blair's hand. The other pulled away violently and stood, backing toward the door into the hall.
"I thought so, too..."
"Blair, stop, please. Don't go running off when you're feeling like this, baby. I'm sorry... I'll shut up, okay? I promise to never talk about this again. I'll never even say her name and when she shows up at the loft I'll either be completely polite and respectful or I'll stay away. Just don't walk out... stay and let me make it up to you."
"Too late, Jim... way too late." Blair replied tightly, though Jim could easily hear that the young man was fighting not to cry as he backed farther away. Jim rose as well, moving to stop him physically, but Blair threw up a hand. "No... don't you dare follow me. I need to not be around you right now."
"Chief, you don't know Vegas... you could get hurt or lost... I'd die without you, you know that. You're my heart and soul. I love you..."
Blair's only response was to shake his head, turn and run. Jim started to go after him, but stopped himself with a massive effort of will. Instead he pulled out his cell and the paper with Greg's number and dialed.
-----------------------
THE APARTMENT:
Towel around his neck to ensure drips from his hair didn't find their way down his neck, Greg rushed to the phone. He'd been so restless that morning that Nick had threatened to sit on him if he didn't stay still for at least a few minutes, but the older man's attention had momentarily wavered and Greg had escaped confinement on the sofa.
"Hello? Uh-oh. What happened?" Greg asked, stepping away and frowning at Nick, who was standing at his shoulder and gesturing to be given the phone. "And it boiled over this morning, huh? I'm really sorry. If he shows we'll call you first thing, I promise. No problem. Okay... Okay, bye."
The moment Greg hung up, the phone rang again. He reached for it, but Nick's glare and pointing finger made him retreat into the living room, pouting with every step. Nick sighed wearily and lifted the receiver to his ear.
"House of Insanity. May I take your order?"
"That you, Nicky?"
"Hey, Bobby. Yeah... sorry. What's up?"
"I was gonna ask if I could come over, but it sounds like bad timin'."
"No, actually, it's great. Greg... he had a bad few hours yesterday an' now..."
"He's drivin' you bananas?"
"A little. It's like he's got ADD all of a sudden. I can't get him to stay in one spot. This apartment ain't huge, D, an' he's already walked the perimeter about thirty times..."
Bobby laughed sympathetically.
"I'll be there, Nicky."
"You sure, now? You don't know what you're lettin' yourself in for."
"Yeah, I do. Hang in there, okay? I'll try to make it as quick as I can. Fifteen minutes at the outside."
"Okay. Thanks..."
"You got it, bud. Hey, I got an idea. Tell him I'm bringin' a present for him an' if he doesn't let you catch your breath it stays in my car. That oughta settle him until I get there."
"I hope so. See ya soon."
"ASAP."
Nick hung up, breathed deeply once or twice and went after a rambling Greg one more time, herding him back to sit in the recliner.
"That was Bobby D. He's gonna come visit in a while. He says he's bringin' a surprise with him."
Greg lit up.
"Really? Cool."
"Yeah, but you don't get it unless your butt stays planted 'till he shows up."
"I can't help it. I'm wound up. I don't know why."
"I think I do, but you keep changin' the subject every time I try to talk about it."
"It has nothing to do with yesterday."
"So you keep sayin', but I get the feelin' you're trying to convince yourself more than you are me." Nick countered, dropping to sit beside Greg, who tensed for a long moment then slumped against the back of the couch and closed his eyes.
"Maybe..."
"Nobody said you'd get past this overnight, Greggo. Matter of fact, I did some research on the computer last night... and people who're drugged and then assaulted can take twice as long to recover."
"Because they don't remember. All they can do is imagine what... happened, and their minds just make it worse than it was."
"That's right."
Greg squirmed uncomfortably and twisted his head to look behind him, so Nick abandoned the difficult subject for the moment and switched to one of Greg's favorites: music. The new topic took them right up to Bobby's knock. Greg didn't immediately head for his safe zone and Nick frowned. "What, G?"
"If it isn't him..."
"Damn it... right. Hang on." Nick rose, beckoning to Greg. Both men moved toward the door, Greg getting as close as he could manage, and Nick called through to whoever was on the other side.
"That you, Bobby?"
"Why, you expectin' a pizza or somethin'?" the ballistics tech replied. Nick grinned at Greg, who moved off to his corner. Once Bobby had been admitted, Greg emerged and greeted him warmly.
"Hey... how you doin', Greggo?" Bobby asked, grinning broadly.
"I'm good. Better every day."
"Glad to hear it. You look great. I got this for you. Knew you'd go nuts over it..." the other man responded, handing over a large hardcover book. Greg took the heavy item carefully, as his hands were still a little tender.
"A rock and roll encyclopedia! I've been dying for one of these! Thanks, Bobby!"
"No problem. Why don't you go crash on the couch and look at it for a few minutes while I talk to Nicky. I'll be right with you, I promise."
Greg nodded and thumped down on the sofa, curling up with his present. Bobby led Nick into the kitchen.
"What's up, D?"
"Are you okay?"
"Fine. Why?"
"Cause you look like hell."
"I'm a little worn down, maybe, but he needs me. Any sacrifice is way more than worth it."
"But you're not takin' care of yourself."
"Of course I am..."
"No you're not. Listen, I've been a long term caretaker, Nick. I spent a year watching over my aunt while she fought ovarian cancer, so I know how deep you can get sunk in someone else's hurt and need."
Nick reached out and squeezed his friend's shoulder.
"D... man, I'm sorry. I know how private you are so I'm not surprised you never spoke up about it."
"Yeah, well, I'm tellin' you now to save you from gettin' to the low point I did."
"The situation's nowhere near the same, Bobby..."
"It is. You chose to be here, 24/7, for someone who needs everything you've got in you, emotionally. If you don't have a way to recover your energy, it'll make you sick, too."
"I'm sleeping, eating..."
"Nicky, that's great, but you're not gettin' it. You willin' to try something for me? Just an experiment."
Arms crossed over his chest, Nick snorted, grinned and surrendered.
"Fine. Whatever. What do you want me to do?"
"Drop your hands down to your sides.... yeah, good. Now lift them straight up. Look at your hands, Nick."
The other man complied and found both hands clenched into tight fists.
"Okay. I see it. I told you he's been drivin' me a little stir-crazy today."
"Shake 'em out... yeah, relax the muscles. Take a slow, deep breath in... hold it... and let it go the same way; slow and easy. One more breath... nice. Now drop the hands again... and bring 'em back up."
Once again, both Nick's hands were tight lumps. Bobby smiled, captured Nick's gaze and gently tapped him on the side of the head. "Am I gettin' through that ten-inch thick skull, Nicky? Huh?"
"Okay, I hear you, D., but..."
"No buts, no excuses. I'm gonna talk to the gang and let 'em know you need us as much as Greg does. From now on, we're comin' over as much for you as for him."
"I won't leave him. I only did that once for, like, a couple hours while he had therapy. It nearly killed both of us..."
"Did I say you had to leave? We're just gonna start payin' you some attention all your own... make sure you stay healthy so you can keep takin' good care of Greg. Alright?'
"Yeah... yeah, maybe."
"Good. Let's go see how he's doin', hmmm?"
Silent, new worries swirling frantically through his mind, Nick followed Bobby back into the living room.
---------------------------
TBC........
