Home of Greg Sanders Slash Fiction
by
aikifrodogrrl
injury, sex and violence. Not pretty.
This story has come from my own experiences I am
borrowing a CSI character and I promise to put them
back. I have seen some the following signs and
statements in several different areas. Don�t sue it
may not be yours and me all I own is crappy bike and a
car loan
Part 1
You touch the album again knowing it will bring you
pain. Why do you keep these clippings and photos. You
must be twisted to hurt yourself with so many
memories.
Newspaper clippings and photographs.
�Bush Likes Marriage Protection Week�
Photographs of you seen through a camera lens:
In seventh grade a kid wore a t-shirt to
school that said God would kill all the Lesbians and
Gays.
You never forgot it, sitting only two seats away and
just beginning to understand. Unfortunately so were
other people. There he is 12 years old and an
All-American Boy
�AIDS Kills Fags Dead!�
All through high school, might as well have
been a punching bag down in the gym. You were beaten.
Your eyes and ears left with permanent damage. Scars
that will never fade all over your body. You learned
early on to float away in your mind, struggling only
made it worse and tears weren�t an option. Now you�re
never really here. When things get hard to float away
to a grey world without pain. Here�s one of you 15
years old, broken arm and face that looks like its
been hit by a truck. There are no feelings in your
eyes.
�You don�t matter. You are expendable! What
the hell is wrong with you?!�
No one protected you. Your parents and your
school blamed you. If only you weren�t so different.
You deserved it really. It was all your fault. The
church preached against you. You never had a safe
place, so you spent most of your time out of it. Just
floating away. Here�s one of you by your church, age
7.
�The Bible Tells Me So��
You never thought much about it. God hated you
and everyone else did too. It was just how things go.
Besides if you ever started thinking, you might have
seen that there was something wrong. No kid can do
that; if your world is so harsh and unloving you can
still go on. Here�s one of you laughing , age 14.
�God don�t let them find out�.please I need a
friend�just for a while�.�
By the time you were nine you had already
started hurting yourself. By fourteen planning your
suicide. Your emotions were dead. Even today you can�t
feel good. Something inside has been broken and can�t
be fixed. Here�s one, age 9, scars from a knife all
over your arms. Told your mom you �fell�.
��had an accident today�just wants
attention�.wastes my time�
You came out to your parents hoping they�d
support you. That was stupid. They practically ripped
you a new asshole. You went on, somehow survived. Went
to college. Don�t know how cause God knows you didn�t
care. Graduated, got a job, pay your taxes on time.
Here�s you drunk at 21.
�It�s only sex don�t expect love�You don�t
deserve any�
But you can�t let go of all of that. All the
self-help books say you should be over it all by now.
You�ve had the individual therapy, been on medications
to stop the suicidal tendencies, even done the group
therapy thing. But you still can�t sleep for the
nightmares and trust isn�t even an option. You�re just
dead inside, a corpse that moves. Here�s a group
photography with the rest of the CSI team. At work you
smile and act okay. Your life is like everyone else�s
or so they believe. It�s all lie but you�re good at
lying and they wouldn�t want to know the truth really.
People only ask how you are out of politeness�they
don�t really mean it. You look at the others, knowing
they would hate you too.
��gay�.no way�should fire that freak�on meds
too, probably psycho!�
One of these day you could get killed. Hell,
its happened before. You have a will to just spread
the ashes over the desert at night. Give everything
you have away. Then let them all forget; maybe this
world will finally let you go to place without pain.
But maybe this scrapbook will remain.
�No Fags in Heaven�
