My biggest concession to the proverbial mid-life crisis was the purchase of a BMW convertible several years ago.

“Halftime goes by, suddenly you’re wise…” - Five for Fighting

            In February we celebrate the birthdays of three great Americans, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln and me. I turned 51 last Thursday. Fifty-one is a milestone year although it’s doubtful you can find a card in your local Hallmark store dedicated to a 51^st birthday. It’s not comparable to, let’s say, 30 or 40 or even 50 when I received an invitation to join AARP. (I signed up for three years.—Hey, if I’m going to be categorized as a senior citizen, I want all the benefits.) Nonetheless, my birthday this year had special significance. It represented a solid year of having survived “halftime.” My biggest concession to the proverbial mid-life crisis was the purchase of a BMW convertible several years ago. Apart from that, I haven’t lost my mind yet, although my four kids are trying their best to make it happen. With two toddlers, and two teenagers in our house; one of whom just passed his road test and is leaving for college in August, I’m still waiting for them to “suddenly” realize that their Old Man is wise. Readers are welcome to offer their suggestions, please, preferably before I turn 52. 

            The Mainstream Media was in frenzy mode over the Vice President’s involvement in and subsequent handling of the aftermath of The Shot Heard Round the World. Last week, the White House Press Secretary was peppered with questions by reporters with way too much free time on their hands about Dick Cheney’s accidental shooting of his hunting partner, 78-year-old lawyer Harry Whittington. It was an incident I am sure Cheney feels bad about, regrets deeply and wishes never happened. He accidentally shot a man. He could have killed him. What a horrible thought. But the press corps was apparently more concerned that they weren’t notified in a timely manner. Reader be warned: If you are so unfortunate as to become involved in a similar incident; an automobile accident for example, please make sure before you call home, or the local police, or 911, or the hospital or your next of kin or an ICE (In Case of Emergency) entry on a victim’s cellphone, or a tow truck operator, (Have I covered all the possibilities?) the editor of this newspaper insists that he be notified first so that we can break the story. 

            Los Angeles Laker’s shooting guard Kobe Bryant finished the first half of the NBA season leading the league with a 35 point-per-game average. It is an accomplishment only bettered by Michael Jordan’s record of 37 points. Aside from what you may think of Mr. Bryant’s personal escapades, the man is an incredible basketball player. And to all of my friends and acquaintances who insisted Shaquille O’Neal was responsible for setting up most of Kobe’s points I say, “Ahem.” It would appear that it was the other way around.

            The Mother Of All Blizzards snuck in unawares a little over a week ago on a Sunday with early morning temperatures in the teens. By last Thursday most of the snow had disappeared in the balmy 3-day spate of 60-degree weather. This was followed by another arctic blast over the weekend. The wind howled and the mercury dove well below the freezing mark in a matter of hours. I am reminded of Dena Dietrich, the actress who starred as Mother Nature in a series of commercials for Chiffon Margarine during the 1970s. “It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature,” was her stern warning with certain promise of retribution to those who dared laugh in her face—like those of us who thought we’d get away without howling winds, freezing temperatures and snow during winter. Who did we think we were fooling?  So much for thinking I’m suddenly wise at halftime. Maybe my kids know more about their Old Man then I think they do. n

Gregory J. Rummo is a syndicated columnist.