| NAME: Jason Kolkey AGE: Legal SEX: Far too rarely. HAIR COLOR: Black as my soul EYE COLOR: Dark and empty as the bleak future of humanity RELIGIOUS AFFILIATION: St. Anger�s Church of Lucifer AIM NAME: ToolOpethTallica AUTHORS YOU SHOULD READ: Fyodor Dostoevsky, Bill Shakespeare, Percy Shelley, James Joyce, Franz Kafka, Frederich Nietszche, Lao Tzu, Albert Camus, Phillip K. Dick, Harlan Ellison, Kurt Vonnegut, Glenn Duncan, Neil Gaiman, Frank Miller, Alan Moore, and Brian Michael Bendis. BANDS YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO: Tool, Opeth, Metallica, Nirvana, Faith No More, Soilwork, Morbid Angel, Lamb of God, Nile, Pink Floyd, Killswitch Engage, Rage Against the Machine, In Flames, GlassJAw, Slayer, Sex Pistols, Meshuggah, Queens of the Stone Age, System of a Down, �And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead, Pantera, The White Stripes, Nothingface, and Dead to Fall. HISTORY: I wasn�t born, so much as I fell out (Apologies to Joe Strummer). My coming was signaled by nuclear blasts, red lighting, and really loud screaming. These conditions continue to accompany my coming to this very day. It was I who introduced Adam Davenport to Tool. That�s right, all that crap about how he wants to give Maynard�s thirty inch cock statue a hand-job is my fault. I apologize. I am currently a freshman at Northern Illinois University and a part-time death metal lead growler. I hate you and hope you are eviscerated by an army of squirrels. That�s right. You. I despise you, you animated pile of feces. Do the human race a favor and die. Thank you. |
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