- a memoir by Greg Jones

(Public Edit Version)
PROLOGUE: FIRST STEPS

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1975 - 1980

Most of us lead amazing lives. There are things that we have done that we are extremely proud of, and equally things that we have done that we wish had never come to light, but all the while they have each played a significant part in our lives and moulded us into who we are today. We each have a story to tell. We can each pass our life experiences to one another, and help others along their chosen path or at least �steer' them in the right direction. It is in those experiences that we learn more and more about ourselves. The way that we think and act. What triggers our emotions. How we reach our goals. What makes us unique.

Throughout my lifetime I have learnt that some of us can actually become two �different' people. One is our physical self, while the other is our �shadow'. I believe that our �shadows' come into play when we hide from who we are, for whatever reasons, and we detach ourselves from the human being we present to and are known as to the world. It is as though we press a �pause' button that stops us interacting with other people and objects, we observe ourselves from a different camera angle and then �unpause' as an �alternate' character with different moods and beliefs. (Gemini's, of which I am one, can easily relate to this). It is a state of mind where we do not have the will or strength to play our �character' due to a personal fear, a deep reflection of a past event, the pressure of dealing with an overwhelming amount of stress at work or even to conquer the first steps of meeting someone new. There are a vast number of reasons, each different to each person, which makes us step away and not be our �truer' selves when the time calls for it.

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What you are about to read are some of my life experiences, of which I believe that you the reader will discover this 'shadow' theory and sense a higher level of self-awareness on your own, and perhaps realize that you are not alone in how you act in given circumstances. You will soon see how we all at different times become our own �Wandering Shadow'.

Firstly, let me introduce myself. My name is Gregory John Jones. I was born on the night of Saturday May 31st 1975 in the Fairfield District Hospital in Sydney, Australia. I am the first of four children to my parents Garry & Brenda Jones (whom are now divorced). My Mother, Father and I lived together for the first few years of my life in the suburb of Fairfield, a small suburb about 60kms southwest of Sydney.

At that early age it is understandable that I can not recollect a lot of detail but I would imagine that as being the first-born in a new family I would have been pampered and well looked-after by both my parents, and along the way I would have been introduced to many people, namely neighbours, friends and family associated with us at that time. My younger brother Darrin was born a few years later in the month of September 1978, and I would imagine that at that stage the attention would then have been primarily focused onto him.

Around the time that my younger brother was born we had an extra addition to the family in the form of a small, white and fluffy dog which was named �Sheley'. �Sheley' would have been the very first pet that I would have come into contact with and that would have been the first opportunity for me to learn all about animals close-up. Instantly I developed a love for all things fluffy and cuddly, and that same love for animals has continued through and into my adulthood.

My mother had informed me (later in my life) that during my first few years I was a bit of a 'dare-devil' nudist when I was about 2 years old (around 1977). After escaping from the bathroom and then strolling in to the yard outside I would then get into climbing the nearest fence, probably trying to escape the horror of being cleaned. After a few years of living at the Fairfield address my family then moved to Macquarie Fields, a suburb that itself was not far away from Fairfield. This is the place where my autobiography really begins, because this was the place where my first real vivid memory was created.

It came about when I was around 6 or 7 years of age, and I remember that my father had been trying to get me to ride a BMX bicycle that was likely to have been mine at the time. There were training wheels still attached to it then and my father must have been trying on many occasions to get me to ride it without the training wheels on because when I did eventually succeed he was truly ecstatic, and that is the earliest and one of the most happiest memories that I have from my childhood.

One of my closest friends and neighbour was Shaun O'Reilly. He was the eldest son of Beverley O'Reilly who my mother was good friends with when we lived there. Shaun was a teenager then and at times I looked up to him as a bigger brother. I am sure that he was aware of the whole �trying to get me off the training wheels' scheme that my father had started, and him knowing that I was rather nervous about the whole idea then told me 'everything would be fine' which injected some sense of confidence into me and literally put me on the bike and 'down the road to success'. I vividly remember screaming out to my Dad as I rode around and around the cul-de-sac, �Look Dad, I'm riding the bike, quick Dad, look at me!' My father came out of the house and looked at me with a mixed face of astonishment and pride. That made me feel so good. My Dad was proud of me, and at that moment I felt like I could conquer the world. Why I took to heart the advice of a friend over advice from my father I do not know, but I appreciated then what a friend could mean to me.

The O'Reilly's became a second family to us for the short few years we lived at Macquarie Fields, and there were times when I would stay over on the weekends to watch a few videos with Shaun's other brothers and sister, and make things like cubby houses out of blanket and cardboard boxes. We had a local �ghost' we created who was called �The Spaghetti Man', which was a man... made out of spaghetti.

Around then my first sister arrived, Lee-Anne in the month of August 1980. I remember at that time Mum was away for what seemed like forever in the hospital while Dad looked after my brother and I at home. Both parents were thrilled when Lee-anne was born, probably more so because she was their first daughter.

Mum was heavily into her Neil Diamond records also. She'd usually play them fairly loud around the mid-afternoon along with the distinctive smell of cooked dinner like potatoes, vegetables and various meats wafting around the street, and thick in the house itself. It was a haunting mix of sound and flavours and another of the most vivid things that I have taken from my younger years in Sydney. Mum also had an impressive collection of Walt Disney records, of which I took great delight in listening to. These were the very first songs that I grew to love, such as �Just A Spoonful Of Sugar' and �Chim Chim Cheree'.

They were good times but not entirely innocent. I had my fair share of being sneaky and quickly learnt what was the right and wrong way to go about getting things. In this case, chocolate biscuits. There was one time during the late hours of the night that I decided to sneak into the kitchen while everyone was asleep and take some well-hidden chocolate biscuits from a jar that was placed up in a high shelf. This required me to climb on top of a benchtop to reach it, and as I did so I made a noise which woke Mum up, who then caught me with the hand in the jar. Busted! I remember this so vividly because it was the very first time I felt the world on my shoulders and a huge dose of guilt. However, the cheeky behaviour didn't stop there. I used to make mudballs (made from wet mud and sand) and throw them as high and as far as I could, hoping it would hit a neighbours' house or roof. But once again the good experiences and activities far outweighed the bad ones.

Once the water main in our street burst, and it happened to be a hot summers' day, so all the kids in our street went out splashing around and making idiots of themselves. The pure mayhem of it all thrilled me to bits, but the coolest thing about this was that the parents didn't mind their kids getting involved in it all. It kept them occupied I guess, and that was when I realised that moments like this should be cherished. Not long after this, I took my first steps on my educational walk.

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