Created: December 4th
Lets compare this phenomenon to the Winter Olympics. In the Winter Olympics, you get to watch people luge their way through an icy tunnel at 60 MPH. In the Summer Olympics, you get to watch people run.
OOOOOH! What an exciting experience! But here's the best part: in the Winter Olympics, there are 2 or maybe 4 variations of the Luge. In the Summer Olympics, every boring sport known to man is seperated into 16384 different events!
You've got the 100m, 200m, 400m, 800m, 1600m, 3200m, 6400m, 7527m, and every other distance imaginable, seperated again by male and female, and seperated again by run and walk. Yeah that's right. Walk. NBC pays billions of dollars and gets their money's worth because they get an explosion of ratings from people who watch atheletes walk!
I can't take the Summer Olympics. The problem is compounded by the fact that there are 6546 events happening at any given given time. The Olympic networks scramble between events leaving me confused and angry. I hate the summer Olympics!
By far the most exciting event in the Summer Olympics is the high jump. Well, not exciting, but interesting. Well, not interesting but still worthy of about 10 seconds of my attention because wathing people jump that high is fun. For 10 seconds. The whole Summer Olympics should just be a couple of guys jumping over a pole, one guy misses, the other makes it, the U.S. wins, the end.
What's the whole idea of seperating men and women? You can say "men have a physical advantage and women need seperate events in the interest of fairness". Oh yeah? Well, look at 100m dash. Notice how most of the people running there are black? Maybe it's because that race is more inclined toward running better, so why don't we seperate by race while we're at it? The Olympics are not only boring, they're also racist, and by supplying them ratings, you're a nazi.
I love the internet because it's the only place where you can say something and people won't get offended because they know I'm joking. Of course, no one reads my particular site, but still, if they did, they wouldn't sue me for calling the Olympics racist.
So back to the Summer Olympics, they're boring, they encourage the use of steroids, they help widen the gap between rich and poor countries (richer country = more medals), and they ruin TV on all channels.
FOX feels like they shouldn't waste their good stuff against the Olympics, so they always run their garbage laugh-a-lympics or whatever in hell they're called that pits an old rerun of That 70s Show against an old rerun of some other piece of garbage. Nobody wins. Especially the viewers. Did I mention I hate the Summer Olympics?
