Created: October 4th, LastUpdated October 9th
1. Rich people: Not all of them, just leeches who think they're better than most people just because they inherited a ton of money or married for wealth. Plus those who spend thousands of dollars to fly around the world so they can celebrate New Years in every time zone. If you ever went anywhere just to celebrate New Years more than once in one year, you are a jackass. This also extends to using time zones to get your virginity back or show off to people that you are living in tommorow.
2. Team Killers*: This is why online games suck, people who decide to kill members of their own team. And then they're proud and say "LAMLAM I pned joo!!11"*. I only have one question: why? Why would you waste your life away fucking up an otherwise enjoyable game? If you get a perverse pleasure out of watching others suffer, why not just become a Republican? Oh, that's another one.
3. People who actually voted for George W. Bush: Luckily, no one except Team Killers actually voted for him, so no problem there. Also on the list is anyone who puts up a sign saying who they're going to vote for. No one is going to vote for someone because of your sign, and if they do, then they're even more of a jackass.
4. People who wear "I survived ____" shirts: Look, everyone survived the SARS 'outbreak'. If I ruled the world, I'd make really creative punishments to people like this. If someone wore a shirt that said "I survived The Blackout", I'd lock him into a completely dark room for 5 years. If it said "I survived 9/11", I'd force him into a building and have a plane crash into it. Man, I'd have so much fun doing this. I'd show the results on National TV. Oh, that's next on the list.
5. Those who watch Friends, ANY reality show* (the Mole exempted), CNN (and think it's unbiased), Baseball*, or Boston Public*: Also anyone who has EVER seen the beginning of a commercial and said "Oooh, what's this one about?" is a jackass. If you liked Ally McBeal, and thought the dancing baby was amusing, you get double jackass points.
6. Anyone who passes on chain letters: My favourite are the ones that go like "Microsoft and AOL have detected a virus and this letter prevents it so foward this to everyone on your address list". Do me favour, everyone, set up your filter to delete any e-mail that contains "foward this". Thank you.
7. Those geniuses who poured down perfectly good wine just to show off that they hate the French. Good work dipshit, I'm sure the French are sorry they ever messed with you now. For your next stunt, how about driving a French car off a cliff? Then you'll die and our world will have one less jackass. Whoa, that's an even better punishment than the one with the dark room! Man I rule.
8. Paid extra for a blue stand for your PS2? You guessed it, you're a jackass. And your PS2 is going to break down even faster when it's vertical (if that's possible), and you do all this just to make it look cooler. Oh yeah, anyone who buys a game or console because it looks "cool" or "realistic" is a jackass.
That's It for now. I'll update this one when I think of some more.
* Shouts to Ben Lee for naming some 1337 5P34K, bad TV, and talking about online gaming.
