Created: Jan. 5th, Updated Jan 13th (Realized that I made up Cheesies and they're really called "Cheetos")
You don't get your moneys worth like you might from other junk food. The little bastards are filled with air, leaving you hungry. In fact, eating Cheetos is worse than eating nothing, because they're so full of powdered cheese it makes me sick.
What's the deal with the powdered cheese shit anyway? They use "Cheese" in their slogan because this strange orange powder is somehow supposed to resemble cheese. Here are a few facts about cheese:
- It tastes good.
- It satisfies your hunger (which is a stupid saying, I'm trying to eliminate my hunger, not satisfy it).
- It's not made of a strange powder that is on a mission to make your shirt orange.
As you can see, Cheetos bat 0-and-3 when it comes to emulating the taste, texture, and goodness of real cheese.
Yesterday I had a craving for Party Mix but the only junk food readily available was a bag full of something else. It seemed to be a mix of 65% cheetos and 35% party mix. This strange bag was marked "Humpty Dumpty Cheesy Party Mix" but as we all know, cheetos are hardly something welcome in party mix, especially to such a large degree.
Even if you like Cheetos (in which case your taste in junk food is bad), you must agree with me that a party mix that is two thirds cheesies is hardly a party mix at all. Corporations like Humpty Dumpty don't care, all they know is that Cheesies cost less to make because they are 99% air.
These corporations already save money by leaving their bags half full/empty and filling the other half with air, but why not take advantage of the consumer even more and fill most of the the Party Mix with air-filled cheetos?
Bottom Line: Cheetos Suck, Doritoes are not extreme (though I'd say they taste pretty good), and atheletes don't eat any junk food, even if it is the "official snack" of their league.
