Created: Jan. 1st
SUVs:
All right, these things have been out for a while, but the fact remains; they suck. Basically it's a giant car that also goes fast. There's plenty of practical purposes for this, as outlined in SUV commercials. One such commercial has a narrator saying something like this:
"You are adventuring through the mountains, trying to reach a cave. The road is treacherous but you know your [insert SUV name here] can take it." And then they drive to a cave and have S'mores and everyone's happy.
Now I'm going to say something about me on this rant. I'm a lazy person. I spend a good chunk of my time playing video games, sleeping, and writing rants, but even I can't comprehend how lazy this family is for driving an SUV through mountains! Oh, what a brilliant idea; why hike through mountains when you can just drive your lazy asses through them polluting the air and destroying all the trees that were the only reason to go there in the first place.
The only vehicle that pisses me off more than SUVs are RVs, the polite term for trailers. Apparantly you're supposed to "pursue your passions" and drive around the country looking for places to camp out. Wait a minute, where are you going to get all this spare time? Oh, you're unemployed... so I just inderectly paid for your trailer. That's great.
Disposable Cameras:
This has got to be one of the biggest wastes of material ever. Basically you buy a $5 camera, take 24 shots with it, and then destroy it! Why? Cameras are not meant to be disposable!
The only things dumber than a disposable cameras are the people that defend them. Apparantly it's more convenient to give cheap disposable cameras to everyone at a wedding rather than have htem bring their own. Think about that one. What inconvienence is it to bring a camera? Everyone has one. They take better pictures then cheap $5 ones. Why not just tell everyone to not bring a watch and hand out disposable watches while you're at it?
Apparantly they're planning on making disposable cell phones too. Hey, I got an idea, why not just have poor countries mass-produce tons of raw plastic and then tell them to throw it all directly into a garbage dump? That'll save a step.
New Ultra/Max Batteries:
These new batteries cost twice as much and don't last any longer, but they're worth it because they have less of a chance of failing on you. Duracell constantly maeks commercials that go something like this:
"Next time you buy batteries, consider this: when most hospitals buy back-up battery power, they trust Duracell"
Too bad the batteries you're buying aren't being used to keep people alive! you're spending twice as much on batteries just to make sure your precious Remote Control doesn't die on you, because we all know how much of a tragedy it is to walk 5 feet and change the freakin' channel!
Forget the fact that any other brand of battery only has a 0.1% chance of failing anyway (except Everready, those batteries are shit), that thousandth of a chance is one you aren't willing to take.
