Created: December 24th
But the Star says beware, for with these gift cards come some strings attached. For example, they will expire after 12 - 24 months, they are easy to lose or forget about, and... oh here's on they don't even mention, they only work at one place!
But don't fret, I, the, brillia... well not brilliant, but uh... marginally competent Greg Head have proposed a solution! I present to you a new product that I like to call the Universal Gift Card (or UGC):
And... they won't expire until the U.S. bombs our country, overthrows our evil dictator, changes our currency, and takes our...uh... wood (but of course all the profits from the wood they take from us would go into rebuilding our now ruined country.)
Back to the UGCs. These things are great! They come in denominations of 10, 20, and 50. They also come in 100s but those ones are not accepted by any store, and if you give them to a bank, they will arrest you and ruin your life without apology (I've been reading my fair share of Star today).
My mind has trouble figuring out why money is not an acceptable gift and Gift Cards are. The two are the same except the Gift Card limits you to one store, while money gives you the freedom to spend it at any store. I guess this means that freedom is not socially acceptable. Screw society.
