By: Garrett Hols
It’s amazing that assholes can get girls. Actually,
now that I think of it, it’s not that amazing. They are assholes at heart, but
to meet girls they lavish their undying love. IT’S A CHARADE. They act nice,
friendly, and they listen… until they get into what they’re after. Their prey
thinks they are in love with them, however when they realize what assholes
their predators really are, they pretend like the asshole is really nice
inside. The girl tries to change the asshole into a nice guy, but assholes will
always be assholes. She gets upset and goes to the nice guy to complain about
the asshole. But she claims to love the asshole… now this is where the theory
begins. She doesn’t want to look like she is easy so she wont dump the asshole
right away, instead she will stay with the asshole. Girls are idiots. They
don’t realize that the nice guy has been there all along. He never had to
pretend to be a good guy to get girls because he is naturally like that.
However, girls don’t see it for some reason or another. They look at the nice
guy as a friend, a trusted companion to whom they can tell their sad story to
about their asshole boyfriend. But the nice guy isn’t THAT naïve. He was trying
to score with the girl he listens to all along. The problem is that since he is
a nice guy he keeps listening. Since girls get attached to things that pay
attention to them, they think of the nice guy as a friend. A FRIEND. They don’t
say, “Oh he’s hot” or “I want to have his children” about the nice guy, they
just want the emotional support. When they get the emotional support from the
nice guy, they don’t need it from the asshole. The nice guy gets the shit end
of the stick while the asshole gets all the action. I am starting to wonder if
being a nice guy is really the route to take to get action… I have been down
this path for all of my post-pubescent life and it has gotten me NOWHERE… at
least not in the women department. Perhaps another reason why girls fall for
the asshole is because assholes ignore the girl they are with. The women
wonder, “Why isn’t he paying attention to me?” so they explore why. They poke
and prod and get closer to the asshole. They start to get easier with each
attempt to get closer. The asshole finally says, “I’ve let this beauty dangle
long enough, time to boat this bass”. It is then he puts on his charade and the
girl feels like she has won him… even thought all she has won is an asshole.
Once you have gone down the path as a nice guy or a “listener” you can’t turn
back. The girl will always go after the assholes because there are always nice
guys there to listen. Once you realize that you are a “listener” you cant do
anything about it… just pack up and close shop. There is no way you will get into
her pants… ever. There is and never will be a situation where the nice guy will
get the girl he has a crush on. It just doesn’t work like that. The girl wont
“come to her senses” and realize what an asshole her boyfriend is like in the
movies… instead she will just go after another asshole, and unless you stop
being a nice guy, she will never go after you. Women complain that there are no
nice guys in the world. Right. They are obviously not looking hard enough
because there are nice guys EVERYWHERE!!!! Girls aren’t looking for nice guys…
they say they are but they’re not. They are looking for the perfect asshole,
but there is NO SUCH THING as the perfect asshole. All in all, the nice guy
gets the shaft. To all the girls out there with boyfriends that don’t treat you
with respect, that don’t listen to you, and that don’t care about you I say
this; look next to you. The guy that has been standing next to you the whole
time is the guy you have been looking for. He is what you want your asshole to
be like. He knows more about you than you know about yourself… because he has
listened to it all.