The Following presentation brought to you by the Duscan Sarcasm Society  :)
Maybe the people we are paying will take a hint...

AAAACK! It's our hero, back from the deep mysterious depths that is a university!!! AAACK! down in the deep pits of despair, or actually, up on the **th floor of despair, we last left our hero as he happily surveyed his new room! well little did he know that he was actually trapped in the lighttwile zone! (dodododododo...) he turned around to see his neighbors going crazy with bottles of cheap beer! flabbergasted, he bolted out the door, only to see the building's disgruntled bald black big bad boogey Lunch man! fearing for the life of his feeble meal plan, he lunged over the disgruntled lunch worker, and narrowly evaded the living food witch threatened to devour him in a see of beans and multinational food dishes. After narrowly escaping, he looked down and saw that the monster-mash of strange colored potatoes had ripped his jeans, and his dollars were declining out of his pocket! never mind that, he thought, if the food doesn't take my money, the school will think of another way... and he ran to the elevator to get back to his room before the laundry room breaks again and strands the entire hall with no source of clean clothes! but the elevator was broken, and the 7 person limit at once caused him to run up ****** flights of stairs. upon reaching floor ******, he slipped, but the ethernet did not catch him because it is broken and the ITS has failed to fix it! Oh No, Damn Them!!! tumbling down the many, many flights of stairs, he wonders why he is paying so much for a building that cant even regulate the temperature. even as he thinks this, the combination of 40 degree weather and the fact that the engineers just turned on the ac is causing him to rapidly lose fingers and toes to frostbite. tune in next week, to find out what perils our hero will face as he tumbles to his doom. will the stairs break next? or does the housing board have something more sinister in mind?? All this and more in next weeks episode!