The Following presentation brought to you by the Duscan Sarcasm Society  :)
Maybe the people we are paying will get a clue...

We last left our hero as he tumbled down the NEVER ENDING pits of destair! He knew it was all over, and he would never get to see the day when this building was fully functional... but suddenly, Super lunch lady came swinging from the ceiling on a vine of broken Ethernet cables and snatched him to safety!!! Thanks Lunch lady! Back on his own two feet, our hero ran back up the stairs, narrowly dodging a plethora of cell-phone callers on the steps. He's Home! YAY!!!! He settled down in front of his computer and decided to check his mail. As he read a recent mail from ITS, his face darkened, as the true sinister plot of the housing office became clear. "I MUST do something to stop this!" He exclaimed profoundly, "This evil cannot continue!" He made haste to the front desk, in hopes that he could stop this diabolical scheme, but he couldn't reach his destination! Mass Hordes of people are blocking in the sign-in table, preventing anyone from sqeezing by, grrrrrrrrrrrr. As he saw the half-asleep security guard doing his job extra slow, our hero slinked by unnoticed. The guard did not even look up! Realizing that this will help him reach the nemesis faster, he ran down the hall before he was noticed.
"Stop right there, evil doer!"
His nemesis just looked up and smiled. "You students are so predictable! You think you can tell us to do anything? Mwahahahaha, its not like you pay my salary or anything! Ha!"
Before our hero had time even to respond, the nemesis pulled a lever and he dropped into a large underground pit. As he looked around, he saw the remains of those kids who stole the couches and pulled the fire alarm! Oh No! In an attempt to spare himself from the wrath of the housing office, he tried to buy some time,
"What is this email I have here??? What are you planning to do?! And where is my internet!?"
"MWAHAHAHAHA, that email is just the start of my plan. Heh heh, it has a nice touch, don't you think?"
"You evil swine! What is this quote here, only for school purposes!? I have YET to see a school that tells their students to do that!!! What  the hell am I supposed to write to my friends with, or talk to them? Not all of us are rich enough to buy long-distance cell phones, or pay for that poo you call a calling plan!"
"Mwahaha, use your modem, little man! Mwahahaha!"
"Right, use my modem, with the ONE phoneline that I share between other people?! That's Bull Poo! We have school projects that require the use of internet, and we both cant use the modem!!! Do you honestly think that the students are going to limit their usage?
"Mwhaahaha, that's my plan little mortal, I will weaken, divide and Conquer! I grow bored of you, goodbye"  and with that he pulls a second lever, and the door opens to reveal a sea of regulatory contracts flowing into the pit with our hero in it. AHHHHHHHH our hero thought to himself, THEY ARE GONNA DROWN ME IN LEGAL POO!
Will out hero escape the endless sea of garbage that is being poured all around him? Or will he suffocate, not able to float in such a mess?? Will he get his 40 K worth??? Tune in next week for the next episode, "What could possibly happen next?"