Speech for Greg and Andi's Wedding
Wednesday 23 May 2001

Rabbonim, families and friends, chatan v'kalah
Welcome to everyone from far and near

When Greg asked me to be his joint Best Man, with his brother David, I was truly honoured and extremely excited. Even after I discovered that no marijuana would be involved, I was thrilled nevertheless. It is so special that I am here to be Greg's Best Man, as he flew all the way back to Johannesburg to be my Best Man in 1998. I'll state for the record that the chances of both of us getting through the speech without crying are quite slim.

When I met Andi in Cape Town in December, this wonderful person I had heard so much about, I knew that Greg was truly in love with her. They met in a setting that was extremely appropriate to both of them - at a lecture about Martin Buber in London. Apparently they had an I-Thou relationship immediately. She is a beautiful, warm and gentle person, who challenges, loves and stimulates Greg, and keeps him on his toes. Greg says Andi makes his soul sing. Oy - we all know why Greg went for the rabbi rather than chazan option. Andi creatively sees the world in a unique way. When I asked how she felt about the changes coming up in her life, and that she'd be living in Hungary, Israel, England and South Africa in the next five years, she pointed me to the bit in their beautiful t'naim document which says "We commit ourselves to trying to understand the world through ongoing study, travel and openness to cultures, and aim to be citizens of the world, rather than simply one nation." I hope your passports are ready!! Here's a little map of the world, so you can keep track!

I've probably known Greg for the longest besides his family. We met in 1985 on the first day of high school - he was well groomed then. In 17 years I've gathered a lot of information about him. When I asked him what was appropriate to say at the wedding of Rabbinical student in the Holy Land, he said "cut down on the sexual innuendo and smutty stuff, make it sincere and from the heart." Oh well, there goes about 70% of my material!

At our recent 10-year high school reunion, most people were flabbergasted that Greg had decided to become a rabbi. So I thought I'd try to see if there were signs of this along the way, and whether I can offer Andi a little insight as to what to expect!

Everyone in this room has been touched by this special person. Some more heavily than others, but we won't go there. Greg is such a multi-faceted person, full of energy and devotion to everything he does. Here in Israel he is the diligent Yeshiva bocher, but still finds time to have enough adventures to make Indiana Jones look like Isabel Jones, and then time to write 7 page emails to his fan club almost every week. When he's not celebrating a chag in Budapest or Dublin, he's picking up haredi hitch-hikers in the Negev, or building walls with Bedouins, or analysing the Israeli political psyche, or singing Shlomo Carlebach niggunim way, way into the night. Greg consumes life constantly and is sucking every drop out of his time in Israel. So we have seemingly boundless energy and fanatical devotion to the cause in his rabbinic toolbox.

What about a love of learning? We spent 5 years in the same class at King Edward the VII High School for Boys. Greg was usually more interested in playing basketball and rugby, quoting Monty Python skits and playing Klabberjas, than Latin declensions and the Battle of Borodino, or what the square on the hypotenuse was equal to. We were part of a killer debating team, and one could not but notice Greg's way of coping with the spotlight. His voice would never quaver, but a tiny droplet of sweat would burst from his brow. He was an acclaimed actor, with his two most famous roles undoubtedly Shylock, the Jewish moneylender in William Shakespeare's "Merchant of Venice" and the cook in "Events while Guarding the Bofors Gun." His lines were these 16 immortal words
Nosh!
Cauliflower Cheese.
I hope it chokes you.
I don't know, do I?
Here, sign that.
But you can imagine the gusto with which they were delivered. Not to mention the cheese.
Greg took the advice of our slightly deranged Latin Teacher Hugh Wilson to heart - that the most important place to study is in the university of Life. And he has taught each and every one of us here something - about love, or learning, or Judaism, or playing cards, Boys' Nights Out or playing ultimate frisbee and most importantly for me one's attitude to life, so may he teach and learn from you too, Andi

Speaking of cheese, here is a picture of one of the most dazzling smiles you'll ever see. To be a Rabbi you need to be a politician, and Greg's political career took off in 1988 when he was the Junior Mayor of Johannesburg. He was always a pin-up boy - making it onto the covers of the "Readers' Digest". His wonderful parents Peter and Carol could not have been prouder. Another notable political triumph was the electoral victory of his party at macheneh, when Furry Friends swept to a landslide. So Andi, he can handle the spotlight and the fame.

I guess another prerequisite is a love of Judaism, Israel and people. Greg has always felt this connection intensely. He has always questioned and embraced the custom, ethics, practice and problems of his Jewish identity. In Andi he has found the perfect companion, from a country like Hungary, a country re-discovering and celebrating its rich Jewish heritage.

Greg introduced me to Maginim (which later became Netzer), the Progressive Zionist Youth Movement, and like many of us, life was never the same again. Greg relished and thrived in this atmosphere of fun and friendship, learning, doing and teaching, and exploring being Jewish, other Jewish people as well as interacting with society around you. Netzer was about tradition. So every year we'd throw a green leather cushion out of the train window into the Karoo desert. Greg 's rabbinic inclinations surfaced early on, as he was in charge of kashering the kitchen at camp. Armed with his blowtorch in one hand, and a kitchen utensil in the other, Greg put on his kippah and uttered the ancient prayer for the occasion - Baruch Ata Hashem, Elokeinu Melech Haolam … Please, make this kosher. Later when Greg studied at UCT in Cape Town, he turned Netzer Cape Town into a thriving and vibrant community, and like Shabbes wine on most of my table cloths, Greg left his indelible mark on Cape Town. The Mountain misses you, Greg. I have no doubt that Greg and Andi will inject energy and insight into any community they may serve.

Camp was about experiencing life, and Greg drank buckets of it. Who could ever forget Greg's skimpy midriff-showing blue net playboy t-shirt? Or when he shaved his head bald at a cricket match at Newlands and wrote "Jonty" on it in sunblock? Or when Greg was photocopying his bottom for display on the camp notice board? Greg always believes in doing things properly, so while going for the perfect shot, the glass broke at full moon. Greg along with Gordon Spitz and Geoff Staz was a founding member of EYT - Expose Yourself Today. Its activities basically consisted of doing what you normally do, just without clothing on - you know, cleaning the dining room, putting up tents and of course playing ultimate Frisbee. Funny, I wonder why they never had a t-shirt printed. I want to thank Greg for shlepping me kicking and screaming into a youth movement that changed my life. Perhaps not in the classical Zionist sense that I came to live in Israel, but for two irreplaceable things - the best friends who are sadly the Scatterlings of Africa today, and for introducing me to a vibrant Judaism that went beyond ritual and who was allowed to sit where. Quite fitting that the equipment for the wedding was stored in the storeroom of Netzer Olami.

Music is an essential part of Jewish liturgy and life. Greg has turned out to be a talented guitar player. But it was not always so. I remember the early, early days, when Greg was less Santana and more just old Santa. Up in Greg's bedroom in Scott Street, door wedged firmly shut, plectrum and geet at the ready. Hush little Baby, don't say a word. The complete works of John Denver. Oy, If I had a hammer. Greg's musical tastes have matured over the years. I met him halfway between his Bob Marley and Twisted Sister Stage. Andi, you will probably meet his most famous compilation tape, called "Mostly Mellow." It's sole purpose was to pull chicks. It will leave you gasping for Air Supply.
I wonder if his new compilation tape would be "Mostly Shlomo Carlebach" now.

There will be tough times as a rabbi and in your marriage, and will require adjusting to many different cultures and environments. Greg survived the Russian winter teaching English in Moscow on black bananas and vodka. Together with Berm we endured a flight to Thailand via Tashkent on Uzbekistan Airlines. There and back. We got through a dinner with a Thai hill tribe in the Jungles of Chang Mai that would not have made the Beth Din's kosher list. Greg has run with the bulls in Spain, climbed Table Mountain and Masada, ridden the London to Brighton cycle race, taunted English rugby fans in a Camden Pub, and various encounters with the mighty and highly allergenic Pine Nut. Have no fear.

I think that one of the most important elements of being a rabbi is spirituality and being in touch with the inner being. I left Greg in Thailand for three more weeks. He went into some type of Buddhist hideaway where he was not allowed to speak for a whole week, and seems to have done a lot of sweeping and eating rice. Come to think of it, he'd be perfect for Survivor III. But it was after that that Greg decided to become a rabbi - it was the introspection, the solitude to really think about what he wanted from life, and of course, the rice. Not long after that that Greg had taken his trusty bicycle off to France and it was stolen on the train. Sadly his chevruta partner Marc had the same thing happen yesterday. Greg was very Zen about it all - we are not our things, and if you love some thing, set it free, que sera sera and all that. I'd mentioned this to Marc as he demonstrated his unique ability to attempt to enter a one-way street and then skillfully veer off into oncoming traffic. Greg truly knows what is important, and I have no doubt he will bring this spirituality into his marriage, if not his mountain bike.

Another aspect is that a rabbi and a husband must have fun and embrace life in a huge bear hug. Whenever Greg returns to his roots in Joburg, he shakes up our worlds and routine and drags all his aging and married pals off to do something wild and crazy - commonly known as a BNO, or Boy's Night Out. The Mother of all BNOs happened about 5 years ago when I was living with JT and Sambo over there. No, not the day he ate a whole bowl of chillis at the Radium Beer Hall for R100. Where we went I can't remember, but as they say, it's the journey, not the destination that matters. Well, on this one, Greg had had a few tots of whatever and was driving us back to Orchards in his late-gran's baby-blue Mazda 323. He was mounting the pavements of Louis Botha Avenue faster than Michael Jackson at a kindergarten picnic, blasting his Bopping Tape and the Gypsy Kings throughout the northern suburbs. You get the picture. When he dropped us off in quiet suburbia in the wee small hours, he was reversing and came pretty close to the sidewall. So close there is a part of Oakwood Estate that will be forever Mazda. Sam, JT and I were on the floor in tears, as Greg turned around, grinned and was off into the night again.

Whether he is throwing up on pine nuts, dying his beardlet red or yellow, interrogating the Talmud, busking in the London underground, driving his Renault off de Waal Drive in Cape Town while waving to a pretty girl, sweating like a kosher pig when making a speech, throwing a toga party the likes of which Kennilworth has never seen before or since, helping me and many others sort out our problems, Andi has caught a very special and extraordinary person.

I can only wish that your marriage grows and thrives while you get to discover just how interesting life can be with Mr Alexander. He has been the very best friend I could ever have hoped to have had.

So the signs were there all along - the love of Israel and Judaism, the ability enthral an audience, to play the politician, be an inspirational leader, full of humour and deep thought, playfulness and passion, grabbing life with both hands and squeezing the pips out of it, the music, both mellow and manic, relishing a challenge, the love of blue skies and sunny open spaces, and not least his fetish for head coverings, biltong, rugby and Liverpool Football Club.

What has really struck me is the way the two of you and your families and friends have put together an amazing, unique and meaningful wedding in 6 months. Nothing was taken for granted, everyone was involved. Each element was carefully planned, studied and interrogated.

The signs are also there for a wonderful future for the two of you. You've both let us be part of a unique and meaningful wedding, have built up love and trust across three continents, both love learning every single day. Fasten your seatbelts and put on your crash helmets for a wonderful journey. Just read the signs. Love you guys. Mazal tov!!