Greg's Wedding Journal 3

So I'll pick up where I left off last week - I arrive at HUC (Hebrew Union College) to find that people are everywhere setting up tables, bar, music, getting dressed, getting ready. I have to say something here about those people. Up until two months before the wedding, Andi and I were still contemplating putting up notices around Jerusalem that there would be a wedding in the park at lunchtime and anyone should come. So when we finally came around to the idea of the whole organised thing we realised that there was no way we could organise or afford it on our own. So we slowly called on just about every friend we have in Jerusalem (and the good will of most of the overseas guests, family and friends too) to take on some of the jobs of getting ready - from sign-making, table and chair setting upping, cake-baking, rug spreading, table arranging, room decorating, punch-mixing…you get the point.

And the amazing thing is how people just jumped in and did things, and did them with such love, such flair, often volunteering themselves before we even asked - we even found out afterwards that two of the waiter/tresses had given back their wages asking that we give the amount to tzedakah (welfare) instead! And the main monkey, the head honcherello, the greasy wheel, the King Kahuna and Cohein Godol was my chavrutah, Marc. Many a night was spent planning this all in 31 Alfasi, but neither of us had any idea of what it really meant until the 23rd of May - Marc told me that by the time of the dancing he didn't have enough energy left to come and dance! It's just that everone was so amzing, what more can be said, not much in words, so onward…

Back to HUC - I get there expecting to be rushed off to Minchah - the kalah's tisch (bride's reception) was getting going on the one side and so I thought we should get going with the chasen's tisch (the groom's reception) so long, but as I couldn't speak (if you didn't get last week's or you slept through that part, I was doing a ta'anit dibbur, a fast of words until I saw Andi) and there were no likely tisch people around, I walked down to the garden which overlooks the Old City Walls and sat down by myself - it was such a good idea. There were birds in the trees cheep-cheeping, the beautiful view and the beautiful garden and it was the perfect preparation for a wedding. Quiet time, thoughts, feelings, processing, peace after all the preparations - what was I doing today? What was I about to get myself into? Wow, this is great, I'm getting married…! IN fact I recommend to any bride or groom out there :- make some time to meditate in a garden for an hour or so before your wedding - very grounding, power! Anyway, so after a while a group of guys came to get me and we davvenned minchah (afternoon prayers) and (by the way it was by no design that it was a group of guys - for some reason I think Andi had attracted all the women to her side, but our tisches were egal. (egalitarian) as was the davenning (prayer service) supposed to be.

So during the afternoon amidah, both Andi and I were doing the whole Yom Kippur bit - we add in the vidui, prayers asking for forgiveness of sins which are ordinarily said once a year on Yom Kippur, the Day of Repentance when we aim to clear ourselves of all the not so good stuff we got up to in the year. So supposedly the chatan and kalah on their wedding day have the power to remit all the sins of anyone who may be present at the wedding, both bodily or in spirit - many people ask for blessings or for wishes of the couple, and while Andi was giving these out, I think for my part, people took the not talking as a not blessing sign - those who were there should know that my heart was pouring out blessings - I was so moved by everyone's love and support.

From the davenning, I was danced to the tisch area, which had been set out by these great people - tables laden with drinks and food, chairs and a throne in the garden - beautiful. Divrei Torah, lots of singing and my oldest friend Steve (with whom I became friends on the second day of high school when he was smacked on the back by the Geography teacher) brought out a collection of embarrassing photo's from basically my whole 29 years! That made me cry. ( - as the video testifies, Steve took over for most of the evening). Two of the guys from yeshivah had made up a great study pack on weddings and another two played out a great sugya (portion) from the Talmud on how one should dance in front of a bride - excellent place to start, because that's where we were bound for… Marc came to collect me and in some kind of dream state I was danced through the garden, through the courtyard and around the corner to head home to the bride's area…

only to be told that the bride wasn't ready. Whooops!! How do you stop a singing, marching, dancing group of 50 yeshivah bochers, family and friends and a determined chatan? Picture me, with Andi's dad on one arm, mine on the other, singing and dancing people surging around me, and one woman coming up to say, "Sorry, we're not ready yet!" That's power…so we stopped. But the singing didn't. This is when we knew there was special energy going on that night - for about 10 minutes which seemed like a day, people danced and sang in front of me and my dad's until we were given the word to come on…by this stage all I could think of was when would I see her, what does she look like, what will she think of this shirt that I bought a few hours ago

and where is she, here's the courtyard entrance, but I can't see past this line of dancing maniacs, is she nervous about the dress, what does it look like, is that the way, no, now we're going straight and there are pillars to the right and I still can't see, and there are more people and women, lots of singing women, and now there's a surge through the crowd and they're making arches with their arms and I'm going through, I'm going through and…

This is probably a good place to stop now, and I will definitely pick it up again within the week, maybe before Shabbes. So have a great week, let me know if you need de-listing or a hug and be well

L'shalom
Greg