Why?
Since the "reluctant spouse" issue is so prevalent within nudism/naturism and it personally affects me, I decided to dedicate a web page to it. One thing that amazes me is, although this issue is so prevalent, it seems few nudists/naturists address it, much less address it well, and many who struggle over the issues do know how to deal with it, much less how to overcome it.
Hopefully, the few letters, articles, etc., I have found (or written myself and included here) will help others -- whether nudist/naturist or the "reluctant spouse." Admittedly, most of the material I found helpful does not relate exclusively to any one issue, e.g. nudism/naturism, but rather it deals with general topics like resolving conflict, communication, persuasion, influence, and leadership. In fact, my biggest surprise in studying this issue is that the reluctant spouse issue is not exclusive to nudism/naturism at all really. I discovered that spouses are often reluctant about many different issues. For instance, engaging in joint marriage counseling, adopting, or becoming missionaries.
Who Else?
Although I mention the "spouse" specifically, you might find the material here helps you in other ways. Maybe you will learn to deal with others who resist nudism/naturism. Maybe you will learn how to effectively communicate what you need or want to say. Maybe you will learn to recognize another person's issues and learn effective ways to approach them.
As you study this material, and other material like it, you will probably begin to realize that the conflict you face, whether with a spouse or a friend, is an opportunity for you to either improve your relationship or destroy it. Hopefully, you will begin to see how you and the other person contribute to the problem. Hopefully, you will see that, with the right skills, you will know how to handle the situation in a way that improves it. Again, this is my hope! We all need to learn how to relate to others in positive and helpful ways -- even when another does not agree with us.
What You Can Expect
As with every other part of my web site, I do hope you find something helpful. Even if you do not resolve the issues with your "reluctant spouse (or partner, family, friend, etc.)," I believe you will be better off. The key is to study the material, not merely read it, and practice what you learn, not merely learn it. I myself discovered communication is a learned skill, and you can learn to do it well. I also learned that certain proven methods of communication, persuasion and influence really do work -- every time. I admit, as of the addition of this page, I still have not mastered the skills I need, but what I have learned and put into practice works. Once again, I hope you discover something helpful, too.
Articles, Letters, etc. (Reluctant Spouse/Naturism Specific)
- Evolution of a Couple of "Nako's" - The Naked Padre
- "I�ve been asked by many people to comment on how a fairly conservative minister and my very conservative and very self-conscious spouse converted to the nudist lifestyle...or as she prefers to be called 'Nako'."
- Naturist Beauty - Russell
- "True beauty is to be found in diversity, not in 'perfection'."
- Nudist Woman, Crystal - Patti
- "Crystal's story tells us something about the thought processes of the person who decides to become a nudist."
- Open Letter - Glen
- "Tex just brought up a problem that a lot of men have had with getting the wife or girl friend to at least try the nudist life style."
- So your partner is interested in nudism - Cheri Alexander
- "We have never met, but I am taking the liberty to write you because I understand that your significant other has become interested in nudism or clothes-free recreation."
- Soul Set Free - Julie Dailey
- "It used to be hard for me to understand why anyone would want to become a nudist."
- Welcome Ladies - Julie Dailey
- "A letter for women attending their first naturist function."
- Women's Outreach Page - Donna
- "The Northcoast Naturists have formed a committee, to which I belong, designed to reach out to women who might have questions, concerns, or considerations..."
Communication (Persuasion, Influence, Negotiation, etc.)
- 7 Principles of Influence - How to Win People's Cooperation
- Art of Autosuggestion
- It is about your self-talk -- how you talk to yourself -- which you may find surprising.
- Changing Minds and Persuasion
- Communication Skills Quiz
- Test Your Communications Quotient
- Listening Quiz
- People Skills Pay the Bills
- Steve's Primer of Practical Persuasion and Influence
- Strategic Listening
- Writing to Persuade
Conflict
- 7 Ways to Make Conflict Productive
- "Transform disagreement and discord into positive outcomes by learning seven constructive ways to respond to conflict."
- Conflict: Constructive or Destructive?
- "Changing how you respond to conflict, you can reduce its harmful effects and maximize its useful ones."
- Conflict: Friend or Foe?
- How to Drive Your Wife Away Without Even Trying
- How to Never Lose an Argument - Resolving Conflicts
- How To Resolve Conflict - 10 Ways to Resolve Conflict
- How to Resolve Conflicts (Part 1)
- How to Respond to Those Who Disagree - Neil T. Anderson
- Protecting Your Relationship During Conflict
- Resolving Conflict
- Solving Marriage Conflict, A Bible Plan to Resolve Family Strife and Alienation
- The Number One Predictor of Divorce
- Habitual *avoidance* of conflict.
- Transcript of The ART of Conflict
- Part 1 and 2 of their radio broadcast for date 02/07/02 and 02/08/02.
Leadership
- A Dream Is Not Enough - John C. Maxwell (Leadership Wired, Volume 6, Issue 4)
- A Matter of Trust - John C. Maxwell (Leadership Wired, Volume 6, Issue 10)
- Focusing on the People's Agenda - John C. Maxwell (Leadership Wired, Volume 5, Issue 18)
- Great Leaders Are Great Teachers - John C. Maxwell (Leadership Wired, Volume 5, Issue 22)
- Harnessing The Best Motivator, The Golden Rule
- How Do You Influence?
- How To Go From Thinking To Life Change - John C. Maxwell (Leadership Wired, Volume 6, Issue 2)
- Inviting Others to Join You - The Art of Empowerment
- Leading Change - John C. Maxwell (Leadership Wired, Volume 6, Issue 1)
- Rise Above the Whines of Victimhood
- Why Not Change? - John C. Maxwell (Leadership Wired, Volume 7, Issue 8)
- You Can�t Afford a Second Rate Self-Image
Lists of Articles
Marriage Sites
Miscellaneous
- Back from the Brink: "Divided Loyalties"
- Do All You Can Do to Make Your Dreams Come True
- Exposed!
- How marriage uncovers the sin in our lives and why that's a good thing.
- How do you know if your spouse is "in love" with you?
- Learning to Love
- Loving Your Spouse to the Extreme (for men)
- Loving Your Spouse to the Extreme (for women)
- Loving Your Spouse!
- To Know You Is To Love You
- Although from a new-age writer, the article is good.
- Waiting On God
Books I Recommend
The Art and Science of Negotiation
Author: Howard Raiffa
Edition: Paperback, 1985
Publisher: Belknap Press
ISBN: 067404813X
Getting Past No: Negotiating With Difficult People
Author: William L. Ury
Edition: Hardcover, 1991
Publisher: Bantam Dell Pub Group
ISBN: 0-55307-2749
Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In
Author: Roger Fisher, William Ury
Edition: Paperback, 1991
Publisher: Penguin USA
ISBN: 0-14015-7352
How to Out-Negotiate Anyone (Even a Car Dealer!)
Author: Leo Reilly
Edition: Paperback, 1993
Publisher: Adams Media Corporation
ISBN: 1558502831
How To Start a Conversation and Make Friends
Author: Don Gabor
Edition: Paperback, 2001
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
ISBN: 0-68486-8016