Background. . . we have accumulated a collection of terms unique to the Crowe's Perch and The Man himself. One Perchette suggested that we all contribute our favorites, and the following list resulted. Thanks to all Perchettes who contributed!
SCHLEP - v. To traipse or gallivant through the country all the while denying any relationship.
FLANNEL - n. Fabulously Loved and Never New External Layer
CANOODLE - v. Snuggling, hugging, kissing ( open-mouth prohibited ), dancing, and general P.D.A. with intent for all on-lookers and tabloid photographers to believe a loving relationship is blossoming, whether or not actually true.
P.D.A. - n. Public Display of Affection.
DE NILE - n. A mythical river running through the neighborhood of Perch which, although it runs contrary to the Perch's beliefs, the positive energy ( as well as party supplies) brought from its residents keeps all river transportation afloat.
SNOG 'N' TICKLE - v. That which a couple does besides schlepping and canoodling (presumably in private)
SORDID WORLD LOVE TOUR - n. Photo op
THE MEMORIAL PISSING PLAQUE PLAZA - n. A site in Austin underneath the Speakeasy bar, where RC is reported by both Ted Casablancas and Anon to have pissed off the balcony/fire escape. It has now grown from a modest puddle into a massive entertainment and shopping complex.
FRU - used variously to mean: 1 ) n. A photograph transmitted through cyberspace, for the intent of surprising and stirring feelings of adoration and/or lust in the recepients. 2 ) v. the act of transmitting said photograph. 3 ) v. substitute for other unmentionable words, f. ex. "I want to pull him off the horse and FRU his brains out", and "What the FRU is that? "
OOPSIE POOPSIE! - (orig. RC) subj. utterance upon the occasion of misspeaking or misFRUing.
OWCHEEWAHWAH! - (orig RC) subj. utterance upon the occasion of 1 ) having a shield dropped on one's foot, 2 ) expressing excessive physical desire or lust, 3 ) expressing horror, as in being FRUed with a nominee from the first FRU contest, Russell's Most Hideous Outfits, and 4 ) expressing horror upon realizing you have been given the Crowe Catcher haircut.
CROWE CATCHER - n. hair style originating with the Chia look, commonly given slyly to unwitting Perchettes, by unscrupulous Chia trained hairstylists.
VOYAGE OF EVERLASTING HOPE - n. The former name of the barge on De Nile.
ESPERAUCHA - n. The new and current name of the barge on De Nile.
SAMMY - n. German girl without any idea what you mean when you write in some kind of "slang" ; used f. ex. as in " HELP ! ! I am a Sammy! And sometimes I sit at this board with a dictionary ! "
CHIA - n. The latest hair style.
PISS OFF THE BALCONY - To misinterpret with great emotion; to criticize unfairly; to jump to unfair conclusions based upon little evidence; to end a thread with an obnoxious post. Usage: " Don't piss off the balcony! "
NO WUCKIN' FURRIES - (Russ orig.) subj. Said when one has no f@#$in' worries.
MUFFIN POSSE - n. The Entourage; esp. bodyguards riding on little red scooters. But appropriate even when scooters are not present.
alternatively,
Publicly Disgusting Action
Disclaimer : the above definition is intended as a funny. It in no way is meant to illustrate styles worn by the Perch, and the stylists we turn to also use the proper hair care products.
Alternatively: piss off the fire escape, piss on my tomato plant.
NOTES :
SheepZee - you forgot one other very important definition of FRU / F*cking Russell Upright.
Thank you dear Babzee - addition duly noted and recorded!
...And Sammy, please don't feel bad. I think from time to time all of us feel like " a Sammy ! "
...Addition to Oopsie Poopsie - favored expression of RC when he has to describe how a fellow cast member in Gladiator almost fractured his skull by swinging a battle ax at the wrong time. Note, this was an interview for TV, otherwise he probably would have used his "favorite" word or some variation thereof ( ex. improvised a move...hit me in the face... f*ck, that hurt! )
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