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Chapter 1
1 My world was dark. My life was chaos. All around me, naught was good. In the room
I sat, waiting for something to help.
I saw myself in front of me.
“Hello,”
“Who are you?”
2 “That which escapes from you.”
“Doo-doo?”
“No. I leak from your head when it is uncovered.”
“But I have hair. Surely that can dam the flood.”
3 “Nay. You are but men. ROCK! Is not impermeable enough to stop it. You must
cover your head with instruments dubbed Holy Astral Trapper
4 “Keep a birdhouse around your soul.”
5 “But what are you?”
6 “I’m a little glowing friend, the part of you that cannot leave. Many people know me as
a soul. To them, I am fading, THIS dying soul”
7 “What do I call you?”
8 “Me. I’m an Alligator. I’m coming for you. I am Orb. You are my Theological
Autonomous Container
9 “All lives are Theological Autonomous Container of Orbs
10 “Lives are there for the protection of us. We are there for the creation of lives.
Balanced existence is good existence
11 “When the container is open, orbs seep back into the stream and the containers
balance is destroyed. Unbalanced existence is bad existence.
12 “If you are balanced there’ll be peace when you are done. If you are unbalanced there
Will be fire.”
13 “Am I evil? I am man. Ignorant of the truth…Yes I am”
14 “But now you are saved. Go forth and save souls.”
15 Then I awoke a prophet, a speaker of ORB.
Chapter 2
1 I do not know why I was chosen to spread truth but I was. And I know this:
2 The ORB said “Keep the world in harmony with balanced numbers. Listen to a Pearl
and when you hear him sing, then you will know his jam: that TEN is balanced.
Time is not balanced yet. You must balance it with TEN. Hours, minutes,
seconds, all in TEN. Do this to achieve harmony.
3 “Keep yourself in harmony with truth. Truth is balanced. Your
words are not balanced yet. You must balance them with truth or you will have to
hold on tight while the world leaves you so cold. Do this to achieve harmony.
4 “Keep your friends in harmony with happiness. Smiles are balanced. A frown
will never be balanced. You must balance it with smiles. Do this to achieve
harmony.
5 “Keep your enemies in harmony with warmth. Love is balanced. Silence and anger
are not balanced. You must balance them with an embrace and understanding.
Do this to achieve harmony.
6 “Keep your life in harmony with modesty. Nothing is balanced. Greed is not balanced.
You must balance it saying, ‘possessions never meant anything to me.’ Do this
to achieve harmony.
7 “Keep your mind in harmony with thought. An empty mind is not balanced. You must
balance it pondering ‘How did the cat get so fat?’ Do this to achieve harmony.
8 “Keep your body in harmony with dance. An unfit body is not balanced. You must
balance it through dance rituals. Do this to achieve harmony.”
Chapter 3
1 And then the ORB said, “Behold the story of John. The first fisherman:
2 “When he was young you’d not find him doing well in school, his mind would turn unto
the waters. Always the focus of adolescent ridicule,
3 “He has no time for farmers daughters. Alienated from the clique society, a lonely boy
finds peace in fishing.
4 “His mother says, ‘John this is not the way life’s supposed to be. Don’t you see the life that
you are missing?
5 “And he says...
When I grow up I want to be,
One of the harvesters of the sea.
I think before my days are done,
I want to be a fisherman.
6 “Now years gone by we find man that rules the sea. He sets out on a dark May morning, to
bring his catch back to this.
small community. He doesnt see the danger dawning.
7 “Four hours up, oh the ocean swelled and swelled, fog rolled in it started raining. The
starboard bow. oh my God were going down! They do not hear his frantic mayday.
8 “And he says…
When I grow up I want to be,
One of the harvesters of the sea.
I think before my days are done,
I want to be a fisherman.
Ill live and die a fisherman.
Calling john the fisherman.”
Chapter 4
1 Then the ORB told me of the dance to balance the body and focus the mind:
2 The ORB said “The dance will cleanse your body. You must perform the
dance weekly on the holy day, LOW, the end of Labor of the Week.
3 “The dance is only open to Tacos. Non Associated or Registered Kind of Life or
Existences (NARKLES) unenlightened by ME cannot be cleansed by MY dance.
Should they seek eternal happiness, they must be invited by a Taco to the DANCE. They cannot be coerced into Tacoism, for that leads to lies; I must enrich them and
prepare them for the unveiling of the truth. I may make them feel, but I can’t make
them think. I will call unto them ‘TYRO!’, and Then You’ll Recognize Orbs.
4 “All men agreeing to the dance ceremony for the first time must swear unto ME, ‘Forget
chicks. I just want to dance, ORB’ And I will fill them with strength.
5 “All women agreeing to the dance ceremony for the first time must swear unto ME, ‘I will
go hence and dance the night away’ And I will fill them with strength
6 “Corruption of the DANCE is intolerable, and those who defy these rules will be smitten:
Thou shalt not talk about the intracacies of the dance
Thou shalt not talk about the intracacies of the dance
Thou shalt stop the dance when someone goes limp
Thou shalt not have more than two Tacos engaged in the DANCE
Thou shalt not engage in more than one DANCE on a single LOW
Thou shalt dance without covering of thine feet
Thou shalt dance as long as needed
The new Tacos shalt dance with the Taco that invited them first
Thou shalt not impede on other DANCERS
Thou shalt perform the Dance of Eternity in the middle of the DANCE
Chapter 5
1 I asked the ORB, “Why do I want harmony?”
2 The ORB said unto me, “At the end of your life you will be put on a balance. Should you
come out to harmony you will enter our gated community where NARKLEs can’t
come in.
3 “It has endless blocks of cheese, pinball, and space invaders. Twice a week we have
karaoke night. The rest of your time is lawn bowl, shuffleboard, and enough to keep
you from being bored.
4 “Should you not be in perfect harmony, a symphonic blank stare from all those with ME
will be thrown upon you. It’s not designed to make you care yet, but in your future
lives you will.
5 “Your next life will be based on your balance in the previous life. A poor balanced man
will become an easily balanced maggot. A moderately balanced man will become
another man. Knowledge of the past is erased, and the cycle of enrichment goes on.”
Chapter 6
1 I asked the ORB “Must I wear a HAT in the shower?”
2 And the ORB said, “No. While wet, you are cleaning the bucket in your head containing
ORBs. The process keeps the ORBs trapped.
3 “While sleeping, the ORBs too are at rest, and have no desire to escape from you.
4 “While at the DANCE you are being cleansed, while sweating you are being cleansed. All
these times you need not wear a HAT.”
Chapter 7
1 And then the ORB said, “Behold the story of the struggle of the common man:
2 “Is this the real life-Is this just fantasy-Caught in a landslide-No escape from reality-
Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see-
3 “I’m just a poor boy, I need no sympathy-Because I’m easy come, easy go; a little high,
little low. Anyway the wind blows, doesn’t really matter to me. To me
4 “Mama, just killed a man. Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger, now he’s dead.
Mama, life had just begun, but now I’ve gone and thrown it all away-
5” Mama ooooh…Didn’t mean to make you cry-
If I’m not back again this time tomorrow-
Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters-
6 “Too late, my time has come. Sends shivers down my spine- Body’s aching all the
time. Goodbye everybody-I’ve got to go- Gotta leave you all behind and face the
truth-
7 “Mama ooo- (any way the wind blows)
I don’t want to die,
I sometimes wish I’d never been born at all-
8 “I see a little silhouette-o of a man,
Scaramouche, scaramouche will you do the fandango-
Thunderbolt and lightning-very very frightening me-
Galileo,galileo,
Galileo galileo
Galileo figaro-magnifico-
9 “But I’m just a poor boy and nobody loves me-
He’s just a poor boy from a poor family, spare him his life from this monstrosity-
Easy come easy go-,will you let me go-
10 “Bismillah! No-,we will not let you go-let him go-
Bismillah! we will not let you go-let him go
Bismillah! we will not let you go-let me go
Will not let you go-let me go
Will not let you go let me go
No, no, no, no, no, no, no-
Mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go-
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me-
11 “So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye-
So you think you can love me and leave me to die-
Oh baby-can’t do this to me baby-
Just gotta get out-just gotta get right outta here-
12 “Nothing really matters,
Anyone can see,
Nothing really matters-nothing really matters to me,
13 “Any way the wind blows....
Chapter 8
1 The ORB said unto me, “On all days that are not LOW you must be preparing for MY
DANCE
2 “Your body must be ready for the intense workout on LOW
A sound body can stay alert longer and help the mind focus.
3 “You will use MY STANCE daily at 7.5 for 10 minutes
While using my stance you must clear your mind of the day, and prepare it for the
Next
4 “You will then run for 10 minutes to prepare your heart for the coming of LOW”
Chapter 9
1 The ORB said unto me, “All lives are TACOs, therefore you must respect all lives.
2 “Those that are dissimilar to you-winged, submerged, or stationary- all contain ORBs
and are all needed.
3 “You must protect all life. Those that you fear, you must protect more than those that
you love. Remember, those that you hate may one day be protecting you.”
Chapter 10
1 The actual conversation didn’t sound anything like this one. This is just a tribute.
2 Whisper in the yard and turn the trees all into toys. Lay there on the ground and turn the dirt into your joy. From what I see and what I know it’s all been boring lately, so I suggest we trade a question mark in for a maybe. Time your riddles right and make a point that has no sense. Make sure that you’re smiling and the money’s been well spent. Innocence and ignorance, it all goes hand in hand, I’m not sure that I’m right, but I hope you understand. I hope that you’re still searching for the start that has no end, and all the plastic people have now become your friends. Before you start to drift and your soul begins to scream, I just wanted to tell you, you’re listening to a dream.
The Book of the End
1 Geoffrey didst call upon his ORB, "O ORB, sage of foreseers, speaker of time, grant my will upon thine inner eye, so that I mayest see the path of our destruction."
2 The ORB spake "Tread softly on foreign lands, for you know of naught which plagues prophets. Now gaze! And acquaint thine eyes with the winds of CHAOS, and let thy mind sail the course to life's end."
3 Hokay, so here's Geoffrey, ensnared by possibilities trapped within the inner eye, and the familiar banana-shape of Earth formed in front of him. Geoffrey didst muse "Here's the Earth. It is a nice Earth you could say. Brown; the complexion of an aged banana.
4 Faltered paths of world's end shimmered before his eyes, tempting him to believe fictitious means.
5 A flash of heat. Glare. A distant light boiled, rolling over itself as it expanded past the Earth. Consuming the Earth and its dwellers, mere iota swallowed by heat and fusion.
6 A shimmer again and the world was anew. The frosty tips of the Earth turned blue from white. The sea churned, colossal waves ripped through the land, tearing the shield of mountains, eviscerating the fields and the men.
7 The VOID wavered and the world was anew. Then great pockets of air were amiss. In the light, great columns of fire sprung forth from the Earth, scorching the lands and its peoples. In the dark, the innards of the peoples didst enlarge and they didst asphyxiate. From their bodies didst organs come, spurting up into the night forming columns of blood and flesh.
8 The VOID wavered and the world was anew. A behemoth rock appeared from afar, gliding gently toward the peaceful Earth. The rock basked the sun, its peaks and valleys glistening in the brilliant light. The light frolicked along the surface of the rock, playfully exploring its spires and crevasses. When lo, the spires sprouted tails of flame. The Earth was wounded. Nay, the Earth was gone.
9 The VOID wavered and the world was anew. The ORB spake “Geoffrey, the universe testifies falsely to the END. Hath it prepared you to see the true end? The true cause of your destruction?”
10 The nothingness around Geoffrey quaked. The nothingness within Geoffrey trembled. And the nothingness transformed into a field of mushrooms. A tremendous amount of mushrooms. Around the world the mushrooms bloomed. Mushrooms with bloodshot eyes protect their motherland from mushrooms endormis. Nary a badger could quash their power. Confused maple leaves sauntered above Geoffrey’s head, eh?
11 Geoffrey’s countenance melted. Kangaroos posed in front of his liquid eyes imploring him to explain why he left his shadow in the sidewalk. The mushrooms froze.
12 Geoffrey’s shadow rose from the sidewalk, observed his pitiful molten self, and jumped in. The mass slowly regained form and rose up into the VOID.
13 His ORB did grin, and spake: "Geoffrey, son of Job, let thine wisdom shine upon the masses."
The Book of the Magic Flying Sombrero
1 I beseeched the ORB, “Am I alone in the struggle for salvation?” And there was no response. Vainly I fought against my fears that the ORB had vanished, and my pathetic reality had returned. No. I have remained faithful to my ORB and his teachings HE cannot have abandoned me.
2 A smell wafted toward me. He vaguely reminded me of something familiar, something delicious… with a hint of lemon.
“Hello smell. Are you here to aid me?”
3 Screams rung out through the darkness, piercing my skull, reverberating in my gut. The smell’s raspy voice spoke through a tan shroud.
“Free me from my prison.”
“I help those in need.” The smell drifted closer bringing with it a foreign sense of boundless joy. As it came, the shroud became clearer, revealing brown spots and it became a hovering round object.
4 “What is this device?”
“It is my cage, forged from the darkest corn grown in the darkest regions of my soul.”
“What can defeat this most beastly contraption?”
“Will you sacrifice the integrity of your body? Is your will strong enough to control your stomach?”
“My stomach knows no bounds”
5 The prison floated toward me. My skin crawled, hairs perking up on my skin, and as the smell began to overwhelm me, I lost my appetite.
6 “Do not give in! You must overpower it! Master your need for nourishment!”
7 After the first delicate bite, a glowing light shot through the amalgamation of rice and meat, expelling cheese that swirled around me. “What powers you have! What great beast am I freeing?”
8 “I am STEVE, the Magic Flying Sombrero. Savior of TACOs. No ORB can pass through me. I contain all. With me, none shall worry of losing their balance.”
9 Bless the ORB. The ORB hath given me the power to overcome evil. The ORB hath given me all that I need for continuing happiness.
10 My stomach shoved my lungs. “Steve! I cannot finish destroying your prison. Though I must, I cannot defeat it.”
“You must, for the sake of TACOs, defeat the prison or it will be my tomb!”
11 Alas, the prison remains intact. It has drifted across time and space, but I still yearn for it. When confronting a resemblance to the prison, I face the worship center and hope to reveal Steve.
If you need assisstance or interpretation contact Prophet Christopher Boblitt at 301-651-8298. Join the celebrations at 940 Pointer Ridge Drive, Gaithersburg. Question my authority? Let me know
I've finished my communication with the Magic Flying Sombrero, but am discussing with Saint Michael.
We here love music, and worship the ground of those that came before us, and listen with dearest intent as they impart wisdom upon us and pass it on to you. And we smile.