Monday, Sept. 27th
It's raining again. TS Jean is really laying it on thick....I bet schools are cancelled tomorrow because of flooding. I hadn't had a chance to update the journal in about a week...but last week we had tornadoes flying all over the place, a gift from Hurricane Ivan. Several houses were demolished, barns, garages. There was a semi picked up and layed on it's side. Scary shit. There was a fatality in the county next to us. I wonder if they have tornadoes all over the world...does anybody know?
I'm pretty pissed off right now. Sometimes my husband makes me so mad I just want to walk out the door and keep on going. I know marriage is alot of work, but sometimes I'm like, "Why bother?". Today he is pissed at me becaused I rescued a kitten from a storm gutter. It's a tuxedo and about 3 mo. old. I wasn't planning on keeping it, but I didn't want it exposed to the storm. So....I brought it home and planned on taking it to the shelter tomorrow. He began freaking out and calling me names and putting me down....typical tantrum for him. I'm just so sick of it. He bitches at me because he says my self-esteem is too low, the proceeds the next day by putting me down and telling me how stupid I am....Hmmm.
How much work is too much anyway? When do you know when to quit? I refused to give up on the first two and almost lost my life....I'm not interested in taking it anywhere NEAR that level again...and yet, I don't want to give up too soon. STILL, some people think I gave up too quick in my other marriages (mostly people over 50), people talking about "commitment" and how nobody takes it seriously anymore....WTF am I supposed to do? Just DIE? Would that have been the appropriate thing to do? NOT. Then they would have said, "Well, she should have been smart enought to get out". (Insert image of steam coming out of my ears here) People just fucking say whatever makes them feel superior and all high and mighty. I hate people like that. I hate people who ALWAYS have to be right and ALWAYS try and make themselves out to be "above" everyone. They are usually the people who claim to be open-minded!
Well, I guess I'll quit bitching for now. Doesn't do any good anyhow...but it sure feels good to put it down on...uh...not paper....uh....whatever.
)0(
Still Monday...several hours later....
OH....I forgot to tell y'all about my erotic dream. I haven't had a truly erotic dream in about 4 years! This was AWESOME! So if you want to read all about my smutty dream Reader, turn the page! |
