| Sunday, May 1st, Beltane Happy MayDay! Hope you had fun celebrating! We didn't do too much, we were supposed to have company this weekend and had a small ritual planned, but one person was training for a tri-athelon, one was called into work....No matter really, it was too cold or windy to spend to much time outside or have a fire. We did plant some cypress trees, apple trees and flowers though. Basically my husband and I spent the whole weekend together doing "couple" stuff: quizes, games...we even had sex! Of course I'm not really supposed to be having sex right now because I'm on accutane...my tubes are tied, but with my luck I will end up pregnant for sure with a 2 headed baby or something. I was using three forms of birth control when I became pregnant with my son: birth control pill, condom, and one of those waxy bullet insert thingies. After six years of having unprotected sex...when I USE the birth control I get pregnant! WTF? )0( Wednesday, May 4th, Wedding anniversary Well, today is our 3rd year wedding anniversary. Sometimes it feels like we've been together forever, sometimes it doesn't feel like we've been together for over a year. It's odd. I guess because we knew each other for 13 years before we began dating.... Our marriage is not what I'd call perfect and stable by any means. Marriage is such hard work, even if you have the perfect relationship before you get married, marriage changes things. I only wish single people could be convienced of this....Everyone is like, "Oh, well, I wouldn't put up with that, I'd leave" or "I'd never marry anyone like that". But, I have made a PROMISE : for better for worse, in sickness in health. Unless I am threatened (or my son) I will not go anywhere. I keep my promises...now if he was to break his vow and cheat on me, hurt me...I would be gone like the wind. But, I love my husband, and I want us to work out all of our problems and live a long and happy life together. He has admitted to me (quite painfully for him being an alpha male) that he has been wrong about a lot of stuff when it comes to marriage and he is growing into a decent husband. The only stressors we have are money (or lack thereof) and my wacko child. I've told him point blank that under NO circumstances would I give my son up, even if it means the end of our marriage. He has accepted that, and since I told him that I've noticed a little change in him. He seems to be fighting a little harder to keep us "working" as a family unit...but I've notice that he has pulled away from my son somwhat and has gone from calling himself "Dadddy" to the "Step-Dad". I told him that putting a wall up between him and the child would only make things worse...he says he just doesn't know how to relate to someone like "him"...someone "mentally ill". I asked him how he could work as a counselor for teenagers who were all freakn' nuttier than a fruit cake, but can't handle his step-son. "That's different"...yeah, whatever. The difference is, is that people in the communtiy know that he is our child and we can't control him and he's embarrased by his behavior. He better get used to it if he wants to stay with me, children are NOT perfect and they are NOT going to do everything the way you want them too...and if you don't believe me, I hope you are not a parent! For our anniversary we are going to Helen (north GA mountains) to just drink, relax and walk around. We're not going to the 14th. I already gave him his gift though...some crazy kind of hat I found at the RenFest a few weeks back...he loves stupid hats, especially asian ones. So, that and a card so sweet, honey was dripping out of then envelope. I haven't gotten anything, he probably will say the trip to Helen is my gift. Tightwad. )0( Sunday, May 8th, Mother's Day I've never really been a fan of mother's day. I'm sure I liked it up until the time my mother died when I was 8. I'm sure I made her corney little cards in school (now I'm the recepient of the corney cards!). After my mom died I lived with my Grandmother for awhile and my Aunt for a while...kinda went back and forth. I remember REFUSING to make the stupid cards at school, I told them I wasn't making a card because I had nobody to give it to. Now that sounds sad and pathetic and they should have felt sorry for me and given me a hug, but did they care? NOOOOoooo, they tried to force me to make cards! BASTARDS! How f*cking cruel :( Today I received a card from my friend Jen, my aunt and my son. I also received a necklance with a charm from my ex-boyfriend/sperm-donar's grandma/adopted-mom. The charm is a circle with two hearts at the top, one big (mom) one smaller (child) and it has "MOM" spelled out under that. The hearts and "MOM" are covered with little diamond chips. She is so nice to me. She takes me shopping and out to lunch and watches my son on short notice if we want to have a weekend to our self. She lives an hour away though :( ANYWAY.....back to the gifts...so far no card or gift from the hubby...and I don't expect one really. When I have bugged him in the past about about a mother's day gift he says he doesn't have to give me anything because I have not given him any children. What a lame-ass. Being a mother is the toughest job I've ever had. I work DAMN HARD at it and I don't think that getting a $5 bunch of flowers from Kroger is too much to ask is it? Or better yet a gift certificate to Home Depot so I can buy stuff to plant that won't die in a vase, but actually come back, year after year......Oh well, geez, I'm not going to FORCE anyone to buy me anything. I'll just by MYSELF something nice ;) I'll let you know when I pick something out for myself :D )0( |
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