All He Wants to Do is Scram (to the tune of “All She Wants to Do Is Dance” by Don Henley)

Azkaban’s full of prisoners

That he put in the pen

And all he wants to do is scram, scram

Igor’s been evil

Since I don't know when

And all he wants to do is scram

Veritaserum’s the local drink

And all he wants to do is scram, scram

Place is full of Mudbloods

And the food just stinks

And all he wants to do is scram

Well he tried to talk to Severus, but the guy’s switched sides

(All Karky wants to do is scram, scram, scram)
Gonna stay here with the Mugglelover instead of run and hide
All Karky wants to do is scram
Go on the lam

He can feel the spark
From his old Dark Mark
He wants to boogie
He wants to make tracks
All he wants to do is
All he wants to do is scram

Well ol’ Karky did some singing
For the Wizengamot choir
And all he wants to do is scram, scram
It ain’t hard to read the signs now
That the fat is in the fire
And all he wants to do is scram

But that won't keep Karkaroff from trying to cut a deal
And all he wants to do is scram, scram
If there’s anybody else
On whom Karkaroff can squeal
And all he wants to do scram
All he wants to do is scram
Go on the lam

He barely made it out of Hogwarts
When all hell broke out
As he accio’ed his broomstick
I could hear the students shout
They said, "Hey, come back here, Igor!"
But if he ever does
He’ll be incognito
’Cause all he wants to do is scram
Go on the lam

Can’t take the heat
Coming down the street
He wants to vamoose
He wants to leave town
All he wants to do is
All he wants to do is scram
Go on the lam
All he wants to do is scram