The Psychologist Title: The Psychologist Category: An Angel:the Series story. Humor, history Rating: PG Chapter 1 A door opened. "Ah, please come in, Mr.-" "Angel. Just Angel." "Angel. Yes, well..." "Thanks." "I must admit this is later than I have ever seen a patient." Silence. "So, what is it I can do for you, Mr. - Angel?" "I don't know." "Oh?" "Well, my friend made arranged this." "Your girlfriend?" "No. Just - just a friend." "I see. Why do you think she did that?" "I know why she did it. She's worried." "You sound annoyed." "Shouldn't I be? I mean, I'm the one with the issues here." "Yes, tell me about yourself." Sigh. "There's kind of a lot." "Isn't there always. Have a seat." "No, with me, more than most. I- I'm not quite sure where to start." "How about the beginning?" "Which one?" A raised eyebrow. "Your birth." "Which one?" Ironically. Pause. "You have - more than one?" "You could say that." Longer pause. Brightly. "Then let's start with the first one. What's your birthday?" "Late 1700s." Stillness. "The late 1700s." "Yes." "As in the 18th century." "Yes." Considering. "Ok, well, let's just move on for now. How was your relationship with your father?" "Pretty bad up until the time he kicked me out of the house." "Did it get better then?" "No. Then I ate him." A pained sigh. "You know, Angel, I'm just a psychologist, but it sounds to me as if you really need to be seeing a psychiatrist who can offer you - " "I'm not crazy." "I'm no intimating that you are-" "I told Cordy this was a bad idea, but she said you were exclusive and could keep secrets - " Hurriedly. "And that's absolutely true; none of what is said in here ever leaves this room, but I think that maybe I'm not the person who can best serve your needs -" "I am NOT crazy." "Just sit down, Angel, and let's consider what you've told me. There. Now. You claim to have been born twice; the first time in the late 1700s, which would make you approximately, what? 230 years old?" "248." "Now, that doesn't sound reasonable to me." "There are a lot of things about me that aren't reasonable." Severely. "Angel, there's really no way I can help you if you treat this cavalierly." A deep breath. "I'm not, really, it's just- Here, how about I tell you about my life and after that, you can ask the questions." "Very well." "I was born in Ireland in the late 1700s. When I was about 20, my father kicked me out of the house, claiming I was a disgrace to the family name. That night, after getting drunk, I met a woman. Or, she met me, I suppose." "Go on." "She was beautiful and she looked wealthy. The kind of woman I liked. She took me out behind the pub and into the back alley, where we - uh, you know, made out some. And then I was born again." "This woman obviously had quite an impact on you." "That's the thing, Doc; she wasn't a woman." Puzzled. "No?" "She was a vampire." Chapter 2 "Ah. Now, I think, we're getting somewhere. You thought she was a vampire." "No, she was a vampire." "I'm sure she certainly seemed like one-" "And she made me one, too." Rapid blinking. "Oh?" "I guess you could call that my second birthday." "What is it that has you convinced that you are a vampire? Are you compelled to drink blood? Can you prove to me you're a vampire?" Uncomfortably. "Yes." "You seem hesitant." "The easiest way is to show you my demon. But it can be a frightening thing." "Well, let's save that for now. Anything else?" "You could hit me." "Pardon?" Shrug. "I'm very strong." "I'd prefer not to. Besides, that's hardly definitive." "True. Mmmm - I don't suppose you have holy water on you? Maybe a cross?" "I think there's a crucifix here - ah yes. Now what?" "How badly do you want to know?" "Very." Sigh. A rustle of silk. "Alright. Come and hold it against my chest." "What will this do?" "Burn me. Not to death, just a burn." "Let's hold off on that then - isn't there any way of proving you are a vampire without hurting you? - and go back to your first suggestion; something about your inner demon?" "Probably the easiest." Another sigh and soft snap as his face reformed. A muffled thump was his only answer. "Doctor? Doc?" Chapter 3 "Oooooh." "Doc? You okay?" "I think so. I didn't just faint, did I?" "I've seen worse." "Yes, I'm sure." Pause. "Well. So you're a vampire." "In the flesh." "So - what exactly are you susceptible to?" Cautiously. "Garlic, crosses, holy water, sun, a stake through the heart, fire..." "Must limit your activities some." Silence. "I'm sorry, that was in poor taste." "Would it be better if we just quit here for the night?" "No, actually, I think I'd like to continue. Get my mind wrapped around this. Can we go on from where we stopped." A nod. "Darla. My death as a human and birth as a vampire." Reassuring. "I can see the distinction." "And that's when I went home and killed my father. Along with the rest of my family." "...Alright. You do know, Angel, that I am bound by law to reveal any crimes that are told to me.." "You think the LAPD is going to be interested in a 200 year old unsolved mystery? That took place in Ireland?" "Well.." "Anyway, for 100 years or so, Darla and I - " "Darla?" "That was her name." Impatiently. "Sorry. Just clarifying." "For 100 years I was the Scourge of Europe. She and I danced a merry death across the continent, parceling out death as if it was so much money that we had to spend." Pause. "Are you alright?" "Yes, excuse me. You just seem to treat it so - casually." A harsh laugh. "Believe me, Doc. I've treated it any way but." "What happened after the 100 years?" "I was cursed." "Uh-huh." "With a soul." Blank. "Forgive me if I fail to see that as a bad thing." "To have killed families, generations, towns even, and to suddenly care? Darla left me of course..." "That must have been hard." "Just let me try and make the rest short, ok?" "Certainly." "Alright. Briefly, I came to America and laid low until I met the Slayer." Silence. "Cordy didn't give you any background, did she?" "Why don't you explain it to me?" "Fine. In a few words, the Slayer is the representative of the Powers That Be on Earth, and she is chosen to kill vampires, demons and save the world from an Apocalyptic end." "This is a regular thing?" "You don't even want to know the number of times that the world has almost ended." "Indeed. What was it that occurred when you met this -" "Slayer." "Yes." "I fell in love." Chapter 4 Amused. "At first sight?" "How do you think such an expression was coined?" "So tell me about this Slayer." "She was called when she was fifteen-" "Fifteen?" A raised eyebrow. "Just seems a little young to be taking on the salvation of the world. Besides, how does an ordinary girl fight and -uh- slay?" "When the Slayer is Chosen, she is given certain gifts." "Like a magic sword?" "No, great strength, stamina, healing capacity, speed. Things to make her a better Slayer." "A killer." "A Slayer is different." "The whole only-kill-demons thing. Seems unfair on their part." "Be sure to mention that is some blood-thirsty vamp comes up and decides to snack on your neck." A squeak of leather. "Speaking of blood-thirsty vamps..." "I haven't drunk human blood for over 100 years." Fascinated. "Really? Don't you need blood to survive?" "Yes, but nothing says it has to be human blood. Pig's blood from the butcher's does just as well." "Uh-huh." Shrug. "Sorry. Didn't mean to make you ill." "The idea is unappetizing." "What did you have for dinner?" "What? Oh, chicken." "You consumed a small, forced-grown bird." "You have an amazing capacity to make the most normal things seem revolting." "It's all in what you get used to." "I'm afraid our time is concluded, but did you want to come in again?" "How's tomorrow evening?" "Something wrong with morning?" Sigh. "There's this whole thing about sunlight being able to kill me-" "Of course. Tomorrow evening then." Handshake. "Thanks Doc." Chapter 5 "Hello, Angel. How are you doing?" "Little stiff today." "Oh?" "Ran into a vamp-nest that was eating run-aways. One of them got me with a knife." "Does it hurt, then?" "Of course it hurts. I'm a vampire, not Superman." "The wound doesn't just heal up?" Roll of the eyes. "You wouldn't happen to be a fan of Anne Rice, would you?" "Well, maybe not a fan, but - " "I'll heal, but it'll take a while. Faster than a human, but it still takes time." "Mmmm. Now what did you call this group of vampires?" "A nest." "So do you have a nest?" "No. I don't work with vampires, I kill them." "Isn't that rather a conflict of interests?" "I'm not interested in killing people." "I didn't say you were." "But that's what vamps do." "But you're a vampire." "With a soul." "Ahh. Does that make you feel superior?" "No, it makes me superior." "How so?" A low groan. "I'm going to have to lead you through Vampires 101, aren't I?" "If you feel that's the best." "Otherwise you won't know what I'm talking about. Ok. To make a vampire, a person needs to be bled almost to death, and then drink that vampire's blood. The person is then buried, and rises within a few nights as a vampire." "I follow so far." "But what you don't see, Doc, is that they're demons now. Not people. Their soul is gone. It's replaced by the demon." "What demon?" "The one they got from the first vampire." "But wouldn't that just make carbon-copied vampires?" "No. The demon's the same, but the person who originally inhabited the body left an impression." Musing. "So the demon comes in and fills in those impressions?" "Right." "Now when you say 'demon,' that conjures up all sorts of different ideas." "In this case, it means the absence of a soul and a being of complete evil." Surprise. "Complete? There's no redemption." "None." Firmly. "Well then, how did you get your soul?" "I had the luck to eat the wrong girl. Her entire clan came after me." "Clan." "She was Romani. A Gypsy." "So why would they curse you?" "Like I said last night - to have done the things I had, and to suddenly care...It was - is - torture."