If Restaurants Functioned Like Microsoft

Patron: Waiter!



Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?



Patron: There's a fly in my soup!



Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.



Patron: No, it's still there.



Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating it with a fork instead.



Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.



Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using?



Patron: A SOUP bowl!



Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem; how was the bowl set up?



Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with the fly in my soup?!



Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?



Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!



Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?



Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day??



Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.



Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?



Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.



Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I'm running late now.



Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check.



Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.



Patron: This is potato soup.



Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.



Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.



Waiter leaves.



Patron: Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup!



The check:



Soup of the Day ................................... $5.00

Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day .......... $2.50

Access to support ................................. $1.00