The Customer and the Unix Consultant

Cust: what is the command that will tell me the revision code of a program ?    

UNIX: yes, that's correct.    

Cust: no, what is it ?    

UNIX: yes.    

Cust: so, which is the one ?    

UNIX: no.'which' is used to find the program.    

Cust: stop this. who are you ?    

UNIX: use 'who am i' not 'who r yoo'.you can also 'finger yoo' to get information about 'yoo'.    

Cust: all i want to know is what finds the revision code ?    

UNIX: use 'what'.    

Cust: that's what i am trying to find out. isn't that true ?    

UNIX: no. 'true' gives you 0.    

Cust: which one ?    

UNIX: 'true' gives you 0. 'which programname'    

Cust: let's get back to my problem. what program? how do i find it?    

UNIX: type 'find/-name it' to find 'it'.type 'what program' to get the  revision code.    

Cust: i want to find the revision code.    

UNIX: you can't 'find revisioncode', you must use 'what program'.    

Cust: which command will do what i need?    

UNIX: no. 'which command' will find 'command'.    

Cust: i think i understand. let me write that.    

UNIX: you can 'write that' only if 'that' is a user on your system.    

Cust: write what?    

UNIX: no. 'write that'.'what program'.    

Cust: cut that out!    

UNIX: yes. those are valid files for 'cut'.don't forget the options.    

Cust: do you always do this ?    

UNIX: 'du' will give you disk usage.    

Cust: HELP!    

UNIX: 'help' is only used for Source Code Control System(SCCS).    

Cust: you make me angry.    

UNIX: no, I don't 'make me' angry but i did 'make programname' when i was upset once.   

Cust: i don't want to make trouble, so no more.    

UNIX: no 'more'? 'which' will help you find 'more'. every system  has 'more'.    

Cust: nice help! I'm confused more now.    

UNIX: understand that since 'help' is such a small program, it is  better not to 'nice help'. and  'more now' is not allowed but 'at now' is.  Unless of course 'now' is a file name.    

Cust: this is almost as confusing as my PC.    

UNIX: i didn't know you needed help with 'pc'.let me get you to the Pascal compiler team.