Teased Old Lady

Defense Attorney: What is your age?



Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old.



Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you?



Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me. 



Defense Attorney: Did you know him?



Little Old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly.



Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down beside you?



Little Old Woman: He started to rub my thigh.



Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?



Little Old Woman: No, I didn't stop him.



Defense Attorney: Why not?

 

Little Old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away some 30 years ago.



Defense Attorney: What happened next?



Little Old Woman: He began to rub my breasts.



Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?



Little Old Woman: Hell No, I did not stop him.



Defense Attorney: Why not?



Little Old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and  excited. I haven't felt that good in years!



Defense Attorney: What happened next?



Little Old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just spread my old legs and said to him, just spread my old legs "Take me, young man, take me!" 



Defense Attorney: Did he take you?



Little Old Woman: Hell, no. That's when he yelled, "April Fool!" And that's when I shot the son of a bitch!

