You Called Me?

A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day there he takes  off his clothes and starts to wander around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks  by and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman  notices his erection,  comes over to him and says, "Sir, did you call for me?" The man replies, "No,  what do you mean?" She says, "You must be new here, let me explain. It's a  rule here that if you get an erection it implies you called for me." Smiling  she leads him to the side of the swimming pool, lies down on a towel, eagerly  pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her. 



The man  continued to explore the colony's facilities. He enters the sauna and as he  sat down he farted. Within a few minutes a huge, horrible, corpulent, hairy  man lumbers out of the steam toward him. "Did you call for me?" says the  hairy man. "No, what do you mean?" says the newcomer. "You must be new here,"  says the hairy man, "it is a rule here that if you fart it implies that you  called for me." The huge man easily spins him around, bends him over a bench  and has his way with him. 



The newcomer staggers back to the colony office,  where he is greeted by the smiling, naked receptionist. "May I help you?" she  says. The man yells, "Here is my membership card, you can have the key back,  and you can keep the $500 membership fee." "But sir," she replies, "you've  only been here for a few hours, you haven't even had the chance to see all  our facilities." The man replies, "Listen lady, I'm 58 years old, I get a  hard-on once a month, but I fart 15 times a day!"