YOU KNOW YOU'RE GREEK IF.....#4
-  You have a cousin called Jim.
-  Your hair looks like an oil slick
-  You say "Sick" every thirty seconds
-  There are no such things as a girl - there's only "chicks"
-  You wear or at least own a gold chunky bracelet.
-  Garlic is considered a main meal.
-  Olive oil is like a drug- you can't survive without it.
-  You don't know half your relatives.
-  You have a wedding at least twice a year.
-  You're related to half of your village.
-  An uncle's wife's third cousin relates you to a friend.
-  You or at least most of your uncles own a spit.
-  You consider your group "Da Boyz"
-  You say "Re" at the end of each sentence
-  When greeting one of the boys, it's always "Ela re!"
-  You wear sunnies at night and consider it normal.
-  You smell like an aftershave factory.
-  There is no five o' clock shadow - You have a five o' clock beard.
-  You wear a Bond's t-shirt.
-  You think spitting is attractive.
-  You consider soccer the eighth wonder of the world.
-  Your cheeks receive their weekly work out every time you visit an aunt.
-  You need to wax your back and you are only 10.
-  Your last name ends with: s, opolous, os, as, or is
-  Your last name consists of the entire alphabet.
-  You have connections to the Mafia.
-  You walk passed a window, and reflexes make you adjust your hair.
-  It takes you hours to do the shopping - relatives stop you for conversations.
-  You have a relative in the farming business.
-  A family member owns a restuarant or business shop.
-  You consider it a personal insult if you are called a Greek-American (You're Greek and thats that).
-  Kissing your great-aunts is like kissing a cat - whiskers get in the way.
-  Hanging out with wogboys is like a game of follow the leader - if one goes somewhere, the rest will ffollow.
-  You have a vegie patch in your yard.
-  You hang around McDonald's carparks at night and rev your car, and think it's cool.
-  You tell your parents you're seeing someone and they start sending out wedding invitations.
-  You're home an hour late and you're already listed as a missing person.
-  You're Dad has those old Greek tapes in the car, and plays them on family drives. Especially in the vicinity of attractive members of the opposite sex.
-  Your parents continually tell you the tale of walking 50 miles barefoot in the snow to get to school.
-  You break a leg, and your grandmother thinks your life is over.
-  Fluffy dice, or a crucifix hang from your rear-view mirrors
-  You refer to your mother as "My old woman"
-  You refer to your father as "The Old Man"
-  When talking on the phone, you always ask ten questions, and don't bother waiting for replies.
-  You tell your parents you're having a party. They buy out the whole supermarket.
-  It doesn't matter if people can't hear what you're talking about - you talk so much with your hands that people know what you're on about anyway.
-  You kiss people on both cheeks.
-  You go to a wedding, and take a facy to one of the guests. Later you discover that the guest is somehow related to you.
-  You go to a wedding, and are introduced to cousins that you never knew existed.
-  As far as you're concerned, there's only one sporting goods company - adidas
-  You tell your mother you're not hungry and she thinks you have an eating disorder.
-  Your conversations are based on one of two topics: Sex or sport.
-  In your world, there's no such thing as a girlfriend. You either have a "fiance or slut"
-  You don't walk... You strut.
-  The hair is off limits.
-  Your parents made you go to Greek school, even though your teacher didn't speak a word of English.
-  You use a mobile in a nightclub and consider it normal
-  You spend half an hour on your mobile talking to your friend who's on the other side of the room.
-  You have 2 kitchens in your house and a lamb roaster in your backyard or garage.
-  Your grandparents keep the unclaimed $$$$$ in old moth ball smelling coat pockets.
-  You have been hit with one of the following objects in your life time: Koutala ( wooden spoon), Pandofla (slipper), Lourithi (belt).
-  You make up your own Greco-American (Grenglish) language: such as Carro (car), Moovare (move), Wassemassini (washing machine), Bassi (bus), Basimon (basement).
-  You can always go to yiayia (grandma) or papou (grandpa) to complain about your parents and all they do is soothe you, feed you and slip you money.
-  Your yiayia gives you a big kiss and gets "shallia" (saliva) all over your cheeks.
-  You've been given the evil eye (the look) by your mother in public and or the biting of the forefinger knuckle or had your upper arm squeezed tightly!
-  You dread kissing everyone at family gatherings, because you wind up smelling the garlic all night.
-  You've been embarrassed by your Mom or Dad in stores because they expect the Greek discount and ask the clerk to waive the tax if they pay in cash.
-  At weddings the karta (card) is determined on the amount of food, the type of band, if the couple are both Greek and whether you are convinced the marriage will last.
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