panthers4

Round 4 v Gannets

Despite all the hype after a stunning pre season victory in the K.B cup,
the 91 Panthers again failed to fire last night on the showcourt at Queens
park.

The signs were ominous early when the Panthers failed to register even one
player with only minutes to 6pm kickoff whilst the opposition had the full
compliment plus reserves, fully stretched and warm on the side line. To
make matters worse, "Bongs" was the first to arrive for the Panthers and
proceeded to punch a couple on the side line whilst he waited for his team
mates to straggle down to the game.

The next to arrive were Freddy, (who was carring an injury sustained only
minutes before kickoff when he tripped over nothing on the road on the way
to the game and was more interested in suing the council than playing) and
scarter who had been at lunch since 12.30 and then to the pub. Scarter
would not conceed that spending the whole afternoon at the pub effected his
game despite numerous dropped balls and a generally lacklustre effort.
Instead he maintained that the pub was the perfect place to spend the
afternoon as Freddy would be driving right past there after work on the way
to the game and he would be assured a lift.

Bubbles and Crappa turned up just before kickoff all fired up and both
tried hard all day. Bubbles maintained his usual form of sledging the
referee despite the fact that he was clearly the no.1 referee in the
competition and made less mistakes all game than the Panthers did in the
first set of six.

Brandy had been retrenched from his real job early in the week and
struggled to come tro terms with the effects as he had an unusually quiet
captains knock. He looked to be concentating on how to spend his payout
rather than leading his side. More likely he was drunk after standing to
close to Scarter at the start of the game.

Boring tried hard with a new haircut but was, in the end, just to boring to
worry anyone from the opposition.

M.G aka the Tap tried to turn it on, but everyone else just kept turning
him off before he could get a flow on and he failed to follow up his 2 try
performance from last game with a similar display.

Cheap was in the running for man of the match with yet another solid
performance but even with the new girlfriend, Vic, on the sideline he
could not lift the woefull Panthers from the early 2 nil deficit they
suffered courtesy of two very soft tries. Team harmony seems to have
deserted the Panthers and many put it down to the rift that has formed
between boring and cheap since Vic decided to step up from a boring man to
a cheap one. No one from the panthers is willing to step in to stop cheap
from maintainig the relationship which this writer puts down to borings
grass cutting history and more so to a basic fear of cheap.

Inspiration was sought from last years players, player - the flying
dutchman. But try as he might, it was not to be the Panthers night. After
letting in the 2 tries early, the Panthers worked hard to score one, only
to let another soft try in in the next set of six. As if they had memories
like gold fish rather than Panthers (who have very good memories) the
Panthers did the same thing again after scoring another hard fought try and
from there the game was beyond them.

The game ended with the score 4 - 2 to the blokes in gay orange shirts (not
that im bitter) and the Panthers now sit at the bottom of the third grade
ladder with the record 0,1,2. From there freddy went to the CEO of the
comp and in a disgracefull display pleaded on one knee whilst crying in
front of a crowd that he wanted the panthers to be relegated to fourth
division. Not good signs for the once mighty 91 Panthers.