2. Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet
3. Men don't awnser their mail
4. Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even in jest as anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly"
5. Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them
6. Having to do the "Ho Ho Ho" thing would seriously inhibit his ability to pick up chicks
7. Being responsible for Christmas requires a commitment