I had a dog once. I spilled spot remover on him, and now he's gone.
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran in circles.
I bought a dog the other day. I named him Stay. It's fun to call him..... "Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" He went insane. Now he just ignores me. He's an East German Sheperd.