VINT: You got no right to tell me what to do! That's Mama's job!
BUBBA: Grandma, where's the sugar?
THELMA: Try looking in the sugar bowl.
BUBBA: Never mind! It was in the sugar bowl!
OLGA: I like your vacuum cleaner very much. It really sucks.
IOLA: Oh, Thelma - cups and saucers. No mugs.
THELMA: Oh, darn. I was planning on having a thermos with three straws!
THELMA: Yeah, land of the free and home of the nuts.
NAOMI: Merry Christmas, Ms. Harper.
THELMA: The next person who wishes me a Merry Christmas is going to get decked along with the halls!
RICHARD DAWSON: Yeah, I guess you could say earrings is an article of clothing. I know I feel naked if I go out without mine.
NAOMI: Reverend Meechum, do you think you could help Vinton and I settle an argument that we've been having about the Ten Commandments?
REVEREND MEECHUM: You know, it's so excitin' when I find a young couple today who are grapplin' to understand The Word. Tell me, exactly where do you two disagree on the Ten Commandments?
NAOMI: Vinton says no, but I say Charlton Heston won an Academy Award for it.
VINT: I never thought I'd see my Mama dirty dancing.
THELMA: Who said seniors can't be sexy? When you're over sixty, you can still get down. The hard part is getting back up.
NAOMI: Magic moments between a man and a woman are spiritual and ought not to be screwed with.
THELMA: Ramone, this is my son Vinton and his wife Naomi.
RAMONE: I'm charmed.
THELMA: You won't be for long.
THELMA (reading from a tabloid): "Psychic predicts world to explode by Christmas." Well, then why the hell am I dusting?!