by Stephen Gray
The Mad Country's currency was called the Loonie, an appropriate name for a country suffering from madness. The political class of this country were known as politicians. Every few years the people of the land were given an opportunity to vote for a new government; this was called an election. The politicians ran in the election under all kinds of party names. Whoever won a majority got to rule the Mad Country. Some of the
politicians who were not elected to the ruling party occasionally decided to walk across the floor of Parliament and join the ruling party. This could be called political prostitution but in a country gone mad this behaviour was normal. Other politicians who did not like the leader of their party just started another one with a different name. This was unprincipled behaviour but principles were no longer acceptable in the Mad Country.
Any politician who tried to bring principles like decency, honesty, morality and courage into politics was ridiculed, for these principles had long become obsolete.
A public opinion poll showed that 69% of the people said the government was corrupt. But this did not bother the leader of the Mad Country, he just told his MP's to say to the people: "Start telling them that we're honest." Usually he was incoherent but this comedic remark reminded some people of a famous quote by another politician, who
said, "I am not a crook."
The Mad Country's leader ordered new planes for his trips around the world at considerable expense to the taxpayers. When his planes arrived, he said da planes were able to land anywhere and that da planes were full value for money. Some people thought of Fantasy Island every time they heard " the little guy" say da planes, da planes.
The leader of the country was supported, according to the polls, by over fifty percent of the people. But over forty percent of the people had given up voting.
The Mad Country had a constitution; this was called The Charter of Rights and Freedoms. The Mad Country was ruled by judges who interpreted the Constitution. When a judge could not find a solution to a judicial problem in the Constitution he would just "read in" what was not there; this was called imaginative or hallucinatory justice. For
judges could read words that were not written and see things that were unseen. One judge, who heard a case involving a pervert, who liked to write pornography about children, decided the pervert's works had "artistic merit;" this was known as legitimizing filth. "Freedom of expression" had become abused and used as an excuse for perverts to proliferate.
The Mad Country also allowed criminals to stay in the country even though many had entered illegally. Many of the criminals took their cases to court, paid for by the taxpayers. A Supreme Court judge said the criminals could not be deported because they might get punished if sent back home. This was known as protecting criminals rights and
being a "tolerant" and "just" society.
It was reported in The Mad Country's media that there would need to be large scale immigration in the next few years as the population was declining. There were too many old people and not enough births. The low birth problem was attributed to in the media to "low fertility." The Mad Country had over 100,000 abortions a year, yet this was not considered a "fertility" problem. Killing the child in the womb was considered a
"choice." Any people advocating the right to life were sneered at and ridiculed by most of the media. Euthanasia was now being advocated by some people in the country. This could be a way of getting rid of the old and unproductive and of freeing up scarce healthcare resources. A new slogan was coined called "the right to die" and it was felt that just like "choice" this slogan would eventually become marketable. Some people
who were still sane in The Mad Country said "but this is killing." There was also controversy about stem cells and research on human embryos and a government minister was heard saying on this topic: "I don't find it easy to define what's right and what is wrong." This statement aptly summed up the ethics of the ruling party.
Most of the media in The Mad Country were adept at double standards and suppressing information. When showing the victims of terrorism on T.V. with blood and body parts everywhere, they would issue a warning beforehand saying "some images may be disturbing to some viewers." But when it came to showing an unborn child cut to
pieces or poisoned to death by a saline solution from the act of abortion they would not show the pictures. This type of killing was protected and approved of by the media. Truth in journalism was an acceptable lie - except when animals were involved, then the media had headlines about "cat killers" and wrote about a cat being skinned alive. Obviously
cruelty to cats was more important than babies being butchered.
The Mad Country's blood supply got contaminated and they had a big inquiry as to how this happened. It was discovered that some people who donated blood had a deadly disease that was the result of the " nice" lifestyle they practiced. But this lifestyle was a protected "right" so people were not allowed to criticize it. Any who did were accused of hate crimes because The Mad Country was a "tolerant" society and people
must be free to spread disease while being described as "happy."
The Mad Country was also a supporter of "safe sex" and "free needles." Many of its children were taught about condoms; this was known as condomization. Free needles were handed out to drug addicts; these needles were paid for by the taxpayers but were still considered "free." There was serious discussion about having "safe houses" so that
the drug users could shoot up their illegal drugs. Nothing made sense in The Mad Country because nonsense was legitimate.
The Mad Country had human rights commissions to protect the rights of the people. One person who was a man wanted to be a woman. So he used the women's restroom to go to the toilet. Some of the women seeing that he was a man reported him and got him ejected from the womens washroom. He took his case to the human rights and was awarded compensation for hurt feelings. This proved that "human rights" were in the toilet.
The Mad Country had senators in a place called the Upper Chamber; they got paid big dollars just for being there. It was reported that the senators had said there was no evidence that the use of marijuana caused people to graduate towards harder drugs. This statement by the senators could be called dopes defending dope.
The Mad Country had a finance minister who was "fiscally responsible." He owned a shipping line but registered it in another country to avoid paying taxes in The Mad Country. This did not bother the Tax Collectors in The Mad Country for they allowed a rich family to spirit a $2 billion trust out of the country without paying any taxes. Cynical people wondered why they had to pay taxes when others did not. Another
minister who doled out questionable government grants was known as: " The Minister Of Pork" but in order to avoid any scandal he was given a position in Denmark. It was reported that something was now rotten in Denmark.
Some people now thought it was time to empty the country's asylums, after all this was a mad country so why should some people be locked up when others, just as mad were free. This was considered a "sensible" solution, for this was The Mad Country and madness was "normal."
Stephen Gray
Email: [email protected]
May 16, 2002