"There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an
idiot."
Steven Wright
"Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and
years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the
worst movies in the history of the world."
Dave Barry
"It's hard to argue with the government. Remember, they run the Bureau of
Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, so they must know a thing or two about
satisfying women."
Scott Adams
"I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the
wrong answers."
A Bit of Fry and Laurie
"The hypothalamus is one of the most important parts of the brain, involved
in many kinds of motivation, among other functions. The hypothalamus
controls the "Four F's":
fighting;
fleeing;
feeding; and
mating."
Psychology professor in
neuropsychology intro course
"What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do
the unnecessary."
Mark Twain
"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I
hate plants."
A. Whitney Brown
"A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging
their prejudices."
William James
"There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?"
Dick Cavett
mocking the TV-violence debate
"I am sick unto death of obscure English towns that exist seemingly for the
sole accommodation of these so-called limerick writers -- and even sicker of
their residents, all of whom suffer from physical deformities and spend
their time dismembering relatives at fancy dress balls."
Editor of the Limerick Times
(Limerick, Ireland)
"Life may have no meaning. Or even worse, it may have a meaning of which I
disapprove."
Ashleigh Brilliant
"Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham
Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today?"
- Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
- Advising the President.
- Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin.
David Letterman
"An Animated Cartoon Theology:
People are animals.
The body is mortal and subject to incredible pain.
Life is antagonistic to the living.
The flesh can be sawed, crushed, frozen, stretched, burned, bombed, and
plucked for music.
The dumb are abused by the smart and the smart destroyed by their own
cunning.
The small are tortured by the large and the large destroyed by their own
momentum.
We are able to walk on air, but only as long as our illusion supports us.
E. L. Doctorow
"Swedens previous Minister of Justice amused the Americans on her visit. Her
name is Gun Hellsvik, pronounced "gun hells week".
Ronny Eriksson
"Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?"
Stupidest question of the month www.stupidquest.com
"The sooner all the animals are extinct, the sooner we'll find their money."
Mikael Pawlo
"You don't buy the drink here, you only rent it"
Toilet graffiti
