When you are sad...
I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the sorry bastard that made you sad!
Whenever you are blue... I'll try to dislodge whatever it is choking you.
When you smile... I will know you finally got laid.
When you are scared... I will rag you about it every chance I get.
When you are worried... I will tell you horrible Stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.
When you are confused... I will use little words to explain it to your dumb ass.
When you are sick... stay away from me until you're well again. I don't want what you have.
When you fall... I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
This is my oath... I pledge till the end. Why you may ask? Because you're my friend!