~ because they are plugged into a genius!
2) Why don't women blink during foreplay?
~ they don't have enough time.
3) Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
~ they don't stop for directions
4) Why did god put men on earth?
~ because a vibrator can't mow the lawn
5) Why don't women have men's brains?
~ because they don't have the penises to put them in.
6) What do electric trains and breasts have in common?
~ they're intended for children, but men usually end up playing with them.
7) Why do men snore when they lie on their backs?
~ because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapor lock
8) Why do men masturbate?
~ it is sex with someone they love.
9) Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
~ so they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties
10) Why did god make men before women?
~ you need a rough draft before you make a final copy.
11) Why is a man's pee yellow and his sperm white?
~ so he can tell if he's coming or going.
12) how many men does it take to put a toilet seat down?
~ nobody know, it hasn't happened yet
13) Arguments: a woman has the last word in any argument
~ anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument
14) How do you get a man to stop biting his nail?
~ make him wear shoes.
15) What do you call a man with half a brain?
~ gifted.
16) How can you tell when a man is well hung?
~ when you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.
17) Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring, and good looking?
~ because they already have botfriends.
18) What do you call a hand-cuffed man?
~ trustworthy.
19) What do you call a woman who works as hard as a man?
~ lazy.
20) What do men and sperm have in common?
~ they both have a one-in-a-million chance at becoming a human.
21)Why don't men have mid-life crisis?
~ they are stuck in adolescence..
~ none, it should be open by the time she brings it to him.
2) Why is the laundromat a bad place to pick up women?
~ because a woman who can't even afford a washer will never be able to support you.
3) Why do women have smaller feet than men?
~ so they can stand closer to the sink/
4) How do you know whena woman is about to say something smart?
~She starts her sentence with "A man once said..."
5) how do you fix a woman's watch?
~ you don't, there's a clock on the stove.
6)Why do men pass gas mroe than women do?
~ because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.
7) If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
~ the dog of course... at elast he will shut up once you let him in
8) All wives are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell tehm apart.
9) What is worse than a male chauvinist pig?
~ a woman that won't do what she's told.
10) what do you call a woman with two brain cells?
~ pregnant.
11)I married miss right... I didn't know her first name was always.
12) I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months, I don't like to interrupt her.
13) What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intellegence?
~ divorced.
14) Bigamy is having one wife too many. Some say monogamy is the same.
15) Scientists have discovered one certain food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%... wedding cake.
16) Why do they call it PMS?
~ because mad cow disease was already taken.
17) Why did the woman cross the road?
~ that's not the point, what is she doing out of the kitchen?
18) What's the difference between a battery and a woman?
~ the battery has a possative side
19) Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?
~ he died laughing before he could tell anybody.
20) What do you call a room full of women, 1/2 with PMS and 1/2 with yeast indections?
~ a whine and cheese party
