Allen interrupts her by weakly holding up his hand.
�Mother,� he says in a voice so soft and determined it actually sounds like possession. �If you compare me to Patrick one more time, I cannot be responsible for what I might say or do. It sufficed to be his shadow when no one even knew I was there. But I refuse to do it for a living.�
After a long pause, she looks away. She then steps out of Allen�s way, effectively dismissing him from the room. He exits quickly and a second door slamming after the first signals his exit from the hotel room. I get up from my seat to go after him but mother�s hand on my arm stops me cold.
�You haven�t finished your breakfast yet dear. You know the rules.�
Only until I reluctantly take my seat does mother then take hers.
�Well,� she says cheerfully as she looks at the both of us. �How are the eggs?�
* * * * *
I find Allen in the caf� downstairs already on his third glass of beer. He signals the waitress for another, which I take to mean I�m welcome to sit down.
�I�m sorry Allen.� I say as I take his hand. He flinches and removes his hand.
�Don�t apologize to me Patrick. You haven�t done anything except live up to her every expectation.� He says bitterly as he lights a Gauloise.
�Well that�s hardly my fault Allen��
�I�m not blaming you Patrick. There is no one to blame unfortunately.� My beer arrives and is placed before me. I pick it up in a toast.
�Well here�s to you Ally. I for one am enormously proud of you.�
�What the hell for?� he replies as he exhales a cloud of smoke that touches the ceiling.
�Well, you�re supposed to be the one with no spine and yet here you are, fighting another world war with �La Divina� and almost winning I might add.� I take the cigarette from him and peruse his face as I inhale. It�s almost like I don�t know who you are.�
Allen raises his glass and accepts the toast with a wry smile.
�God these are awful.� I say as I put it out in the ashtray. Why are you smoking these anyway? Didn�t you bring any of ours with you?�
�When in Rome�� he replies.
�Allen, play the Meditation. It can be your one and only performance if that�s what you wish. At least then you can put your violin away for good with the satisfaction of having tried. Forget the fact that you might stink. By some remote chance that you do, do you really think anyone is going to say so? You�re the son of Lillian Diehl. Mother is absolutely worshipped here. There�s not one member of the press that would dare say anything unkind about your performance. At the very worst you�ll get a polite mention about your future promise or some such nonsense.
Allen puts down his empty beer. �I can not believe that after all this my own brother is going to try and force me��
I take both his hands across the table and continue. �No Ally, absolutely not. I�m not trying to force you into anything. But just forget the pressure, forget the expectations, forget Mother, forget everything. Just take the moment and create something beautiful. I know you can do that Ally. I for one would love to see you shine for just one moment all by yourself. You�ll never have to do it again if you don�t want to.
