He sang the song “Problem Child”
The words he wrote about himself
A long time ago.

I took them to heart,
They felt as if they were my own.

I stood, waiting, watching and listening
To the pastor as he put ashes on the
foreheads of those who had gone before me.

Then it was my turn and tears built up inside.
He made the sign of the cross on my forehead
and spoke the words…..
In the name of the Father,
The Son and the Holy Spirit.

Am I worthy of such a love
A love that is so freely given
A love that takes all my guilt and shame
and leaves me with a new sense of wholeness.
A release of pain that I too often hold deep inside.

Why do I hold it there?
God can see it…..
No matter how many walls I try to hide it behind
Or how deep I think I have it buried,
He knows it’s there.

It was like I had been baptized all over again.

My soul was free again for the first time in a long time.
 

I look in the mirror….
The sign of the cross is still there…
Do I dare wash it off?
If I do will the new feelings just fade away,
back to how I felt before I walked through
those doors tonight?

I so want this feeling to stay with me forever.
 

Dear God,

Help me to keep these feelings I have now
Help me to keep my eyes on you and your will.
Help me to know that in your eyes I am worthy
of all your love.

Amen
 
 

                                © Jordan  2/13/02