To: Balkar ([email protected]), Mara the Enchantress ([email protected]), Rif ([email protected]), Amber the Sorceress ([email protected]), Thorg ([email protected]), Blackstar ([email protected]), The Overlord ([email protected])
From: Klone ([email protected])
Subject: Survey

Just killing some time with a few personal interest questions.

1. What are you wearing right now?
2. What do you like to read?
3. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning?
4. What is your preferred poison?

**

To: Klone ([email protected])
From: Mara the Enchantress ([email protected])
Subject: Re: Survey

Don't you have anything better to do? Oh well, if it will make you happy.

> What are you wearing right now?
Wouldn't you like to know?
> What do you like to read?
101 Recipes for Cloudcat Roadkill
> What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning?
Not another pointless survey in my Inbox?!
> What is your preferred poison?
Anything tasteless and odorless. Get the picture?

**

To: Klone ([email protected])
From: Blackstar ([email protected])
Subject: Re: Survey

Great! Another survey! It's been a pretty boring email day after I blocked the Overlord's emails. I don't think he's too happy about being outbid on eBay. I could have sworn it was a private auction.

> What are you wearing right now?
Same thing I wear every episode, what do you think? This isn't one of those suggestive alternative lifestyle questions, is it?
> What do you like to read?
Read? Umm, does it have pictures? Okay, just kidding. Stud Ranger Weekly.
> What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning?
Uh, who is that in bed next to me?
> What is your preferred poison?
Anything with alcohol in it.

Uh, you're not gonna sell these answers to The Sagarese Enquirer or The Anchar Tattler or anything, are you? Because you really do worry me sometimes.

**

To: Klone ([email protected])
From: The Overlord ([email protected])
Subject: Re: Survey

Listen, you twit! If you don't take me off this spam-of-the-day email list right NOW, I am sooo reporting you to your ISP. Oh, and while you're at it, and since he's so conveniently blocked my email address, tell that muscle-bound idiot friend of yours--you know the one--I'm going to get his ass for outbidding me on eBay. And no, you pervert, that is NOT what I mean.

> 1. What are you wearing right now?
> 2. What do you like to read?
> 3. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning?
> 4. What is your preferred poison?

**

To: The Overlord ([email protected])
From: The Vizier ([email protected])
Subject: Don't Worry, Master

Master, I understand a certain shapeshifter has been bothering you with pointless emails. His ISP has been contacted and he will trouble you no more.

Let me know how else I may be of service to you, my Lord.

To: Balkar ([email protected])
From: Cyber Supplement Promotions ([email protected])
Subject: It Worked For Me! *mph1*

The Miracle Pill That Works Wonders!

If you're like me, eight inches just isn't enough. Have her screaming in delight and crying for more with our patented (TM) herbal supplements. Extra inches guaranteed or your money back!

**

To: Blackstar ([email protected])
From: Balkar ([email protected])
Subject: I Think This Email Belongs to You

I think this email *definitely* belongs to you.

**Forwarded message attached**

To: Balkar ([email protected])
From: Cyber Supplement Promotions ([email protected])
Subject: It Worked For Me! *mph1*

The Miracle Pill That Works Wonders!

If you're like me, eight inches just isn't enough. Have her screaming in delight and crying for more with our patented (TM) herbal supplements. Extra inches guaranteed or your money back!

***

From: "Chinchilla Smith" ([email protected])
To: Balkar ([email protected])
Subject: Hot Wood Sprites Want to Meet YOU!

These hot woodland dryads are just waiting to meet you. [Images censored]

One click of a mouse will take you to our exclusive personals page, your first step in fulfilling all those steamy forest fantasies.

**Note: All our girls are over the age of 18**

***

From: Balkar ([email protected])
To: Blackstar ([email protected])
Subject: Forward: Hot Wood Sprites Want to Meet YOU!

Another one of YOUR emails, I believe, Stud Ranger.

>From: "Chinchilla Smith" ([email protected])
>To: Balkar ([email protected])
>Subject: Hot Wood Sprites Want to Meet YOU!

>These hot woodland dryads are just waiting to meet you. [Images censored]

>One click of a mouse will take you to our exclusive personals page, your first step in fulfilling all those steamy forest fantasies.

>**Note: All our girls are over the age of 18**

***

From: Blackstar ([email protected])
To: Balkar ([email protected])
Subject: Re: Forward

Actually, last time I looked, I think that babe Delia has the hots for you. High five!

To: Blackstar ([email protected])
From: The Evil Blackstar ([email protected])
Subject: Rematch

Hey you! Yeah, I'm talking to you, mister. The evil pods and me want a rematch. Next Tuesday, noon, Tree of Evil. See you there, loser.

Oh yeah, and the Evil Klone also wants a piece of you.

From: Taleena ([email protected])
To: Blackstar ([email protected])
Subject: Look Into My Eyes

Hear my voice: You have no memory of the past. You will listen only to me now.

**

From: Taleena ([email protected])
To: Blackstar ([email protected])
Subject: Hello?!

Why won't you answer my emails? Fool! Do you not realize you are completely under my power now?

**

From: Chief Demon ([email protected])
To: Blackstar ([email protected])
Subject: A certain nuisance

It has come to our attention here in the Demonlands that a certain evil sorceress has been stalking you. Rest assured that said nuisance has been properly dealt with and will not be returning anytime soon

From: Sumaro ([email protected])
To: Amber ([email protected]), Mara ([email protected]), The Overlord ([email protected]), Blackstar ([email protected]), Balkar ([email protected])
Subject: Limited Time Offer

From now until Labor Day, admission to Tamboriyon is half off the usual price! Trobbits and children under 12 admitted free!

**Certain restrictions and blackout dates may occur**

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