Bad Blood

Some pain

scarred me.

You scream at night

and I wake alone.

Your voice makes me hurt

cuts me, burns me

and breaks me

so I bleed for you

as you kiss me

and I crumble with your touch

until I become nothing

beneath you.

You look at me

with your dark eyes

empty eyes

empty veins

and cold hands.

You ruined my hair

you ruined my soul

as my emotions will

attack me

fed by your malevolence.

Strength from your bad blood.

Water ( a short story)

Being a child in the world. Day to Day. What a mess.

The children are in the streets. They scream and play, not conscious to the adult

concern. What could happen when we play in the streets?

Cars that drive recklessly. Out to destroy, so you can be on time today. No one

will know about last night. Your hangover, and itchy- burning feeling.

I learned to love in a car. I drowned in a car. Love is water. I am soaking wet. Love is water. Please drain me.

I have something to say about love. I haven’t figured it out.

My ex- boyfriend, Danny, he loved me so much. I don’t understand how

he could love me so much, and love another girl so much too. I guess one just isn’t

enough.

I decided to surprise him one day, and stop by unexpectedly on my way home

from work. I knocked on his apartment door, and there was no answer. I figured he was

sleeping, so I tried the door and it was unlocked. I went in and I heard music coming

from his room, a recording of his almost- famous band. This wasn’t strange because he

listens to that recording day and night, nit- picking every little mistake. A typical

musician. So anyway, I opened the door and I was caught a little off guard by the sight I

saw. He was caught a little off guard too. The screaming and crying that followed was

great. It turns out she had no idea about me either. We both left crying together. She had

no car, so I offered her a ride.

We went to a coffee shop, and talked and cried together.

We are still really good friends. We still have a mutual loathing for Danny.

Love is water. I am soaking wet. Love is water. Please drain me.

When I was a child, I played in the streets with my friends. One day we found a

nest in a tree and took it down. The boys smashed all the eggs on the sidewalk. It was a

hot day. I saved one of the eggs though. They didn’t see me hide it in the pocket of my

skirt. I never wore shorts, too uncomfortable. I took the egg home and put it under some

blankets to keep it warm. I watched it everyday, but it never hatched. After a few days I

decided it probably needed a little more encouragement in order to hatch, so I put it in

the microwave. It still didn’t hatch. I don’t know what happened to it after that. I got too

upset, and I left it there. My mother probably found it. Lucky her.

After this experience I determined that I probably shouldn’t have children.

My father loved me. He loved me too much. He loved me in a very inappropriate

way. It when on from as young as I can remember until I was 12 years old. My mother

knew about it, but she never did anything. I think she was too afraid of him, as was I.

One day I resisted. My own strength amazed me. However, he won the battle. He

beat me up so badly this time that I had to go to the hospital. My mother took me, and her

and I told the doctors the truth. The whole truth.

I never saw my father again. What a shame. I hope he hates himself. I wish many

negative things upon him. Everyday.

I have had many bad relationships. I guess I could blame my father for that. I

searched for the love I never received as a child. I fell for guys that treated me like shit

because I never believed that there could be anything better for girls like me.

I wish I could drown. Please drain me please drain me please drain me please.

I have a friend named Mikah. Mikah has never been in love, but if you

ask him he will say he has drowned.

We went cruising for sex one day. Actually, I didn’t, I just drove. It’s more of a

guy- thing, if you know what I mean.

We went to some park, and he met up with a partner. I waited there for him. I

talked to another guy who was also waiting there. He told me about his wife and two

kids. A simple suburban life. After he left, I cried for his family.

When Mikah returned he looked a little sad. Being naturally curious, I asked him

for the details he would not give. I suspect he received nothing in return for his services.

Mikah cried the whole way back. He cried in my car.

Mikah has never been in love, but if you ask him he will say he has drowned.

I slept with Mikah that night. I didn’t "sleep" with him, we just slept cuddling in

his bed. Totally platonic. I had to go to work the next morning, so I got up and got ready

without waking him. I kissed him on the forehead and told him I was leaving and he

mumbled something, but I wasn’t sure if he was actually awake or not.

I love Mikah. I love him as my best- friend, but if he ever decided to give girls a

try, I wouldn’t mind being his first experiment.

As I drove away in my car, I saw him watching me through the window in the

front of the house. He is so beautiful.

Love is water. I am soaking wet. Love is water. Please drain me.

I had a friend named Romy. We went to high school together. Romy has the

most beautiful singing voice I have ever heard. She sang in our school choir, and

everyone was positive that she would become famous. Towards the end of senior year,

Romy met a guy at a party named Jonny. Jonny was 20, and he lived in a house with four

or five other guys. If you were to ask Jonny what his special interests are, he would tell

you gardening. He liked to grow many curious- looking plants, and a variety of fungi.

Jonny was a really great guy. He was smart (despite his fungus consumption), fun

to be with, and really sweet. Romy fell for him, and soon was spending all her time at his

house. Jonny soon taught her how to expand her mind through substance abuse. He

treated her well. After graduating Romy moved in with Jonny and got a job as a waitress.

She soon lost her voice.

Romy found love. Romy lost herself. Romy drowned.

I got a call in the middle of the night. It was Mikah’s roommate Jeremy

(platonic). He told me that Mikah had taken nine hits of acid, an 1/8th of shrooms, and

washed it down with a bottle of cough suppressant, hoping to get amazing psychedelic

visuals. Jeremy said he was having a very bad "trip" and was very paranoid, and was

asking for me. Neither of them had ever tried that combination before, and it apparently

wasn’t very neurologically soothing.

I ran to my car and sped the whole way there. I was pretty worried. Mikah doesn’t

handle most drugs very well, he has too much anxiety. When I got there Mikah was

curled up on the floor in his boxers, hugging a blanket and shaking. I sat down next to

him and held him in my arms like a baby. He is so beautiful. He looked at me for a

minute with his big, dilated eyes and said very softly, "Thank you for coming." Then his

eyes kind of rolled back as he shut them. I softly started singing to him.

Love is water. I am soaking wet. Love is water. Please drain me.

Mikah then started to go into convolutions I checked his pulse and it was racing. I

knew that it was way too fast and that I had to take him to the hospital. Jeremy helped me

put him in to my car. While racing to the hospital, I was stopped at a red light. I was

profusely spitting and endless drivel of profanities at the light, when I heard Mikah

whisper something. "What did you say Mikah?" I asked. "I love you, Rosey" he answered

softly. And I drove into the water.

I learned to love in a car. I drowned in a car. What a mess.