Christmas and WinterJokes

For All Ages

Q. What do elves learn in school?

A. The elf-abet

Q. What do you have in December, that you don't

have in any other month?

A. The letter "D".

Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

A. Frosted Flakes (or snowflakes)!

Q. Which moves faster...heat or cold?

A. Heat. Everyone can ALWAYS catch a cold!

Q. Why shouldn't you tell a joke while you are

ice skating?

A. Because the ice might crack up!

Q. What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?

A. Claus-trophobic!

Q. Why does Santa have so many gardens?

A. Because he loves to ho-ho-ho!

Q. What falls but never gets hurt?

A. The snow!

Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?

A. In snow banks!

Q. What's an ig?

A. An eskimo home without a loo!

Q. What do reindeer have that no other animal has?

A. Baby reindeer!

Q. Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator at a well known toy store. As they stepped off the elevator, they all noticed a $50.00 bill sitting on the floor in front of them. Which one picked it up and why?

A. Santa, of course!! There is no such thing as an honest politician or a generous lawyer!

Q. What do you call a cow in Alaska?

A. An eski-MOO!

Q. What happened when Santa's cat ate a ball of yarn?

A. She had mittens!

Q. Why is Santa such a good race car driver?

A. Because he always starts in the Pole position!

Q. What sort of ball doesn't bounce?

A. A snowball!

Q. How do you know if there's a reindeer in your fridge?

A. By the hoof prints in the butter!

Q. What do you get if you cross a blizzard with a polar bear?

A. A brrr...grrr (burger)!

Q. Why did Frosty go to live in the middle of the ocean?

A. Because snow man is an island.

Q. What do reindeer say before telling a joke?

A. This one'll sleigh you!

Q. How long should a reindeer's legs be?

A. Just long enough to reach the ground!

Q. What do snowmen wear on their heads?

A. Ice caps!

Q. What do you get if you cross a shark with a snowman?

A. Frost bite!

Q. What do you sing at an Eskimo's Christmas party?

A. "Freeze the Jolly Good Fellow!"

Q. What does Santa write on his Christmas cards?

A. A B C D E F G H I J K M N

O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

(No-el)!

Mom, can I have a dog for Christmas?

No, you will have turkey just like everybody else!

Q. Who is never hungry at Christmas?

A. The turkey...he's always stuffed!

Q. What bird has wings, but can't fly?

A. A roast turkey!

Q. What is it called when Father Christmas takes a little rest while delivering his Christmas presents?

A. Santa pause!

I hope you enjoyed this happy little page.

If you have any new material, please email me.

Thank you!

(last updated December 24, 2001)