�Twas the night before Christmas
I was up on the roof
setting up bear traps
for an unsuspecting hoof
when I heard a tiny jingle
from off in the night
I knew that Santa
would soon be in sight
I turned to go hide
when my feet slipped out
I fell on my ass
and let out a shout
I looked down with just barely
enough time to watch
as a bear trap released
and slapped shut on my crotch
pain shot through me
with flashes of white
every muscle in my body
spasmed and went tight
as I lay on my side
I tried to cry out
but the pain was too much
so instead I passed out