�Twas the day of thanksgiving when I awoke with a start
I lifted my left cheek and I blew out a fart
I threw on my clothes and picked up my hatchet
gonna kill me that turkey as soon as I catch it
I went out the door and stood in the yard
not a turkey in sight, they were all on their guard
how smart could a turkey be, how well could they hide
They couldn�t get away from me no matter how they tried
suddenly a turkey was standing in the clearing
not the slightest bit scared he stood there staring
something in his look should�ve made me wary
but he stuck out his tongue and blew me a raspberry
I lost my temper and I charged with a yell
"I�m gonna eat you if I have to chase you to hell"
just as I was closing he turned and he ran
and I was too stupid to see what he had planned
filled with a rage and my hatchet raised high
every wild swing came a few inches shy
he turned and we ran through an open barn door
then I tripped and fell sprawled across the floor
I was just getting up to brush myself off
when the door slammed shut and the lights were still off
a small stream of light came from a door crack
but other than that the barn was pitch black
I swung my hatchet at something off to my right
at what I couldn�t tell due to my lack of sight
suddenly the light came on and I was able to see
50 turkeys were staring from their circle around me
so this is what they wanted, a battle to the death
I'll kill every one if it takes my last breath
"bring it to me" I yelled, "lets see what you got"
"I'll cut off all your heads and leave you all to rot"
with a rush they came at me from all different sides
and I stood off their charge with my axe swinging wide
but one got through with a sneak attack
when he jumped from the loft and on to my back
in the frenzy of the attack my axe had been lost
but I wouldn�t give up, I'd win at all cost
with my bare hands I fought with an iron will
then with a shock everything became still
parts of turkeys were scattered everywhere
I was covered with blood from my shoes to my hair
I rummaged about for the fullest carcass I could find
when I heard a noise come from behind
I turned and looked into the eyes of my wife
her face showed anger, shock, and strife
so I explained what happened with my heart filled with fear
then she said.."I thought you would have learned from last year